DATING AT 53 in Short stories

DATING AT 53 - MY STORY (trust me it is funny)

So while home for Thanksgiving Holiday I am speaking with a dear friend that I have known since High school and is married to one of my best friends since grade school and the conversation with her went something like this.

Sizzlin: “Hey Rob so how is single life treating you?”

Me: Eh it is what it is

Sizzlin: “Anyone special in your life?”

Me: Just very rarely dating and it is a trip!

Sizzlin: “Oh really what do you mean by that”

Me: (and this is when the story gates opened) Well it appears the dating landscape has altered significantly since you all were last on the dating scene 30 years ago. Today it is conducted via internet dating apps, facebook, and Instagram, and well-meaning friends trying to set you up because they just can not understand why someone who is successful, reasonably accomplished, handsome… yes I said it, and worldly is alone. In fact, they start to whisper and talk amongst themselves as to just what is wrong with you!

Sizzlin: “Really that occurs”

Me: Oh you have no idea it is sweet actually as someone cares enough to think about you and be concerned for you yet it is also so very awkward.

Sizzlin: “Why is it awkward”

Me: Because girls talk worse than guys and do you really want your friend’s wives and female social circle knowing all about your sex life, heck they have enough to talk about with the why is he single conversation never mind getting more intimate details?” What if I am all Christian Grey like?

Sizzlin: ” Well then surely you must meet someone via the internet then or when out and about?”

Me: I rarely go out alone as it is just uncomfortable for me and the thought of the bar scene dating hustle at my age just makes me quiver. The couch, a great book, a long walk in Gods Gym ( nature) or a good movie or sporting event and an adult beverage seems easier and better to be honest.

Sizzlin: ” I mean really you have not met anyone that you liked”

Me: OMG you can only imagine how many people put up old younger pictures of themselves and then wish to start a relationship based on initial deception I mean who does that, I mean really? Or you go out on a first date and they spend the whole time telling you how much of an asshole deadbeat their ex is, how their kids are their best friends, what ailments they have or are recovering from, what addiction they have conquered, how often they go to the gym (simply erroneous in most cases), how their doctor botched their boobs, nose, lips, and yes one told me about a botched ahem you know and lets not go there I mean really, where their tattoos are located, and often their desired sexual proclivities (yes it happens on a first date) how precious their grandbabies are.... their horse, their dogs, their cats, or simply spending the whole time reading you their resume while wearing cheap shoes and clutching a knock-off purse…C’mon ....... and yes this has happened to me can you help with the rent mortgage car or phone payment my ex-failed to pay his support lol

I mean Sizzlin you have no idea it is crazy out there and I have yet to comment on the ones who think the first date is a eat nothing contest and a drink everything contest due to nerves after all they did post a picture from 10-15 yrs ago claiming it as now and wondering if they are going to get caught out, heck I am waiting for someone to bust out and just start screaming SHOTS! Then there are the endless texters who want to start a relationship by never speaking … am I the only one shocked? Then there are the sexters....I will have no more to say on this matter!

Sizzlin: “Oh my gosh Rob that is just too funny”

Me: Sizzlin you have no idea and I have come to the very simple conclusion that anyone single from the ages of 40-55 generally speaking and I put myself in this category have some kind of special drama in their life that sees them as single at this age and often time to look for the 3rd or 4th husband, I will not go there, and honestly I am also a product of that same drama as I am single at 53 and there is a reason for that.

Sizzlin: “Oh Rob than simply date younger ones!”

Me: HA they want babies and my baby days are over I am in the gap years waiting on Grandbabies and there is zero hurry in that camp, or in Vegas they have a special word for this it can be called #yoursponsor yes young ladies looking for a lifestyle and someone to take care of them, yes it can truly be love I have seen it be very successful yet it also has its own hashtag so it is a be careful what you shop for an buy marketplace… the younger market that is.

Sizzlin: “Rob you are just too funny and really is it that bad?:

Me: Oh Sizzlin it simply is what it is dating at 53 is a lesson in avoiding drama pitfalls, choosing self love over fake love, learning to truly be alone and ok with that, talking to yourself and accepting that as normal, smiling kindly and compassionately as you listen to countless stories on life’s traumas experienced by another… newsflash we all have trauma it is part of the human condition and simply should be a footnote rather than a headline… (note to self-pay attention here)…and starting to realise that alone just may be the next journey in life…ugh that sucks but it is what we tell ourselves to find solice in the malay that is dating at 53.

I think we have reached a level of maturity where the effort to blend families, blend lives, blend dramas or traumas, find common ground, and try and start a new chapter without bringing any bags along from the past is a challenge most are wanting to overcome but few are willing to put in the herculean effort to get there.

Sizzlin: “you are sounding jaded?”

Me: Jaded I refuse to be.... realistic I have become ( I sound like Yoda here insert Yoda voice it is funnier). The simple reality is I am a romantic at heart a chivalrous man and seeking my Queen to walk beside me. I believe in love and life together forever it is simply more complex at 53 and I am ok with that as I said earlier from 40-55 or perhaps even later we are all a product of some form of trauma or drama as that is why we are single at this stage in our lives.

I have also met some very nice intelligent attractive and somewhat drama free woman and sometimes in later life, your paths are just running differently so although there is an attraction and there is fun you are too stubborn and set in your ways to make a colossal shift to get on the same path.

So there you have it a mans view of single and dating at 53. I hope you enjoyed my candid view and it made you laugh as I smiled and laughed the whole time chatting with Sizzlin recounting this place I find myself in life and remembering and writing about that conversation.

Feel free to share with anyone who will get a chuckle that you know love or care about.