Well I can’t say this is going to be the most interesting thing to read and my spelling and punctuation leaves a lot to be desired.
Two months ago I decided to quit two things, the first being smoking ,both cigarettes and weed. It was easily done , there has been no changes since I stopped apart from having more money. The second thing is men , much harder as I’ve managed to sleep with two men since then!
Fuck my life ! It’s been a week , the boredom and the need for validation is so strong.
I’ve made /attempted to make these changes because after long thought , I’ve realised I’ve lost emotions… I am happy and I get angry and thats just it. I don’t know when the sad, the fear, the excitement .. all of those and more.. I don’t know when they left me and it’s took all the colour away.
I feel very detached from the world at times and I think I need to reconnect to my emotions, but how ? I’m not the type of person to start meditating and getting some crystals and shit ! I am the type of person who would roll a joint and spend the night with a man between my legs, without this I really have nothing to do when the house calms down and there’s no more chores there’s just emptyness.
Could there be anything more pathetic.
So here I am filling the gaps so I don’t reach for my phone to call a man or a dealer.
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