A rough weekend... in Days of summer..

You know that feeling you have when you wish things turned out alright with someone you don’t see/hear from any more? That is how my heads feeling atm 😁 kinda wishing I could go back and put things right, but so hard when they don’t contact you, or ask how you’re feeling…

Trying to forget about that someone is even worse, expecially when your heart pines for them… And yearns to have them back, and try to put things right, even though you are the one who did things all wrong in your relationship…

How come I feel this way? Ain’t really seen that person in 9 years? It’s great they have moved on and started a little family and that… But kinda gutting in a sense that the family you have of your own don’t seem to give a fuck, nor really care about you… Or spend your lifetime looking for answers, but kinda get more questions…

Yeah 9 long years have passed, can’t believe that… And the only thing I have to say for myself is that I’m sorry, sorry for always putting you second In our relationship… Sorry for all the times you needed me when all I seemed to do is think about myself…

What I’m really trying to say is that I miss you… I miss your hugs, smiles, the way that when we were together we could be invincible… I miss holding you in my arms, the way we used to talk all night about things… I’m trying to hold things together and move on myself, but you will never know how much you mean (or meant) to me… I’m so sorry I let you down… Like I said before, and will probably will do forever, nothing in my life gave me such happiness and I threw it all away, because I’m so selfish… I didn’t know that you were that good for me until it was too late… I hope you see this message, cause I feel really low right now, and yeah I’m glad you moved on… But a part of me is always gonna be missing you… A lot… Why is my life such a fuck up???

Kinda wishing I didn’t do what I did to get sectioned in the first place… Please talk to me (you know who you are) even if it’s to say Hi or something…

Found an old pic today
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Last updated September 10, 2018