New Job :) in 2018: The Adventure into Motherhood

I start my new job on the 4th of September. I interview for the state. I will be working for Adult Protective Services. It is a pay cut but the benefits will be on point. I am having a hard time leaving my current job. I am comfortable here. I know I can do this job. I am damn good at this job. There is just no growth with my current position. I NEED growth, I am tired of standing still waiting on life.
Things will be tight for a bit. We just need to hold out for a year. My BIL is supposedly buying out our portion to the InLaws house next year. That’s 90k that we can you as a cushion while I try and move up and make more money.
The commute is going to suck until my step-dad moves out to my neck of the woods. (He is the one who watches Elliott (E).

I was looking over my job description. I am an admin assist. It says I will need to make brochures?! I don’t understand that one. I am terrified of starting this new position. What if I don’t get along with these people? What if I can’t do the job? The commute ends up being too much or we can’t actually survive on this pay cut. I know people say working for the state can be amazing. They have longevity pay and advancement with great benefits. Having a hard time justifying being selfish and taking this pay cut.

E has been growing like a weed. Took him to his 4 month checkup. He is 17 lbs. 6.5 oz. Up 5lbs from his 2 month check up, and he grew 4 inches (From 22’‘ to 26’‘). He LOVES to talk. He is rolling from his back to his belly and occasionally from his belly to his back. Though that’s uncommon as he loves tummy time and trying to crawl. We are still nursing and co-sleeping. Both of which the pediatrician disagrees with. Told me that I need to stop night nursing him, that he is just using me as a pacifier. No shit. That’s what I am at this point. He is only 4 months old. We can work on self soothing with out traumatizing and starving the child.

I think this weekend I will make him a ruler growth chart. I will be interested in seeing if he continues to shoot up like a weed.