Building a Mystery in General

Building a Mystery

You’re a beautiful
A beautiful fucked up man
You’re setting up your
Razor wire shrine…

On the way to Shaw’s to return “Death Wish” to the red box Evel came up with this one.

Sarah McLachlan helped me through my first divorce. We launched out of San Diego in early June 1999. Everyone was listening to “Fumbling toward Ecstasy.” You could go into the flag mess and there would be a black kid bobbing his head along with Sarah.

I was 37. I am Scotts-Irish, with the slightest trace of Cherokee. I had nothing in common with a 19 year old black kid from Chicago and yet there we were. Listening to the same music.

The intro phrase at the top struck me tonight. I have been told by three women “You are so beautiful.”

Lets get this straight. I am Gen X. In my generation men are not “beautiful.” I should take it as a compliment. I look into the mirror and occasionally see “Passably Okay.” I don’t do makeup and faggy hair gel and what not. Other than brushing my teeth, srcubbing myself down with Dove, shaving. A couple of swipes of Old Spice in the pits. And I’m good.

I would really suck as a woman. I can’t imagine how much time it takes to even get out the door.

With age comes wisdom. I am hesitant to get into another relationship. If it happens, it happens.

But I am on the schedule for three flights next week. Still don’t know what is going on with my BP. Guess I’ll find out on Monday. Talked to a nurse today. My blood work is all normal.

(I am talking myself down. I got very angry this afternoon. The two options are to lower the heavy bag out of the rafters in the garage or write. Sometimes writing is easier.)

Last updated August 09, 2018