Fallacy of "Only for Attention" in Tangent

You know what prickles my cactus? The phrase “Oh ______ just does that for attention.” Really? Hmmm, I had no idea you were inside that person’s mind to know the decision behind their fashion choices.

I have purple hair, bunch of tattoos, and big boobs. The mix of these causes me to get quite a bit of attention. As my boyfriend/husband/thingy would say “You have a lot of old white people stare at you. Guys too, but they just stare at those.” (insert him pointing to my chest) There has been more than one occasion I have been accused of doing it for attention.

Why? Because my style doesn’t follow the crowd. Because I don’t sugarcoat myself for the delicate sensibilities of those around me? I am already extremely self-blah to myself, but going with the crowd doesn’t help matters. It makes me look how I feel inside. Blah.

The purple hair helps pop my blue eyes and fair skin. With every tattoo I feel more confident, more bad ass, dare I say even slightly sexier. As for the boobs and cleavage. Well, my eyes and my boobs are quite literally the only physical characteristics about myself I actually like. So yeah, I am going to wear a tank top FOR ME. Not for attention, not to get guys to stare at me, but so when I pass the mirror I can feel comfortable instead of wanting to put my fist through it. When should I censor what I like because people can’t keep their eyes upward or because more modest people have different style sense than me? Why do we expect people to fall in line and when they don’t they are a weirdo or a whore or odd or “too gothic” or a thug?

If you walk into Hot Topic wearing a pink dress with a white purse with a teenie tiny dog in it people are going to look at you. You aren’t doing it for attention. You are just trying to shop. You shouldn’t need a dress code to go about your business.

Have you ever been to a convention like anime or comics? Most everyone there is in costume. You stand out by NOT being in one. However, go outside the hotel where the convention is to grab a bite…all eyes are on you once more. “Ooooooo aaaaaaaah, look at the weirdo in the costume eating a salad at Panera.”

I don’t understand how people can dismiss others as attention seekers when they are only being true to themselves. Now I am sure there are those out there who do do it for attention, but so what? If that is what they need is a brief moment a day when people look at them, it shouldn’t matter to you. It is not hurting anyone. You don’t like it, don’t look, go about your day, and leave them to theirs.

We were shopping at a store and I overheard this mother-daughter duo making fun of this girl. This girl had super pale skin, gorgeous long wavy teal hair, and had on a early 1900s slip style dress on with period stockings & shoes too. She was like something out of an indie music video or an anime. I thought she was breathtaking. These two just sat there and kept going on ripping this girl apart laughing. They’d just cluck out their insults and shake their heads tongues clicking away. They left it with scoffing “She is just that way for attention. Disgusting.”

I was so enraged for this poor girl. I went up to their target (kids in the cart with me) and I said, “I love your dress! And that hair! You look amazing.”

Big smile. She said I made her day and went right back to shopping. Still smiling as she walked away.

I know those two heard me (the looks on their faces). I didn’t say it for them to hear me. I don’t care if they did or not. I wanted the girl to hear me. I wanted to make her day, because the guts to go against the crowd to be true to you…that is bravery. There is nothing more beautiful then someone who shines all the colors of who they are for the world to see.

It is radiant.

It is breathtaking…