Before we continue the story I want to back up a little and tell you about the Red. It was about 2 weeks before I left for Arkansas. I had gone to Walmart after talking on the phone with my Love. He had suggested that I take a picture of me shopping in Wal-mart. Sounds like a pretty simple request but my over active imagination turned it into something far better. I went to the lingerie section. I was thinking just to hold something sexy up against me and snap a picture but some creepy guy was taking a little too much interest in what I was doing. So I grabbed a couple of items and went to the dressing room. One was a leopard print neglige and the other was red lace. I tried them on, leaving my jeans on below, and took pictures with my cell phone of my reflection in the full length mirror. It was fun knowing the Wal-mart lady was just outside the door...could she hear the click, click of my phone? They both looked good but I loved the Red. I wanted to buy it, but explaining that to Ozzy would be difficult. So, I put them both away and sent the pictures to my Love. Of course he was astonished and very pleased. He also loved the Red. I told him I would come back and buy it before I went home to him. And I did. The day before I was to fly out I returned to Wal-mart. He was on the phone with me as I selected the Red and a pair of red lace panties. I had to get the panties, too. Everything else I own is decidedly un-sexy. So, the Red was packed in the bottom of my suitcase along with a pair of black stockings and heels borrowed from Dotter. Pretty much a promise that something exciting was going to happen while I was home.
Now we return to our story.
My phone call was made and I had gained my freedom for the night. We were alone in a hotel room and we just kind of looked at each other with a "what now?" look. Came in close for a hug and then a kiss. A long, lingering kiss that melted away any last traces of nervousness and ignited a fire in me that I'd thought long dead. It seemed he would be content to just hold me and kiss me forever. But I was needing far more. It was I who pulled him to the bed and undressed him. He turned off the light which was a bit disappointing. I wanted to see everything...every expression on his face. But the darkness did, perhaps, help me to be less self conscious because I was not that at all. I am not accustomed to taking the lead in bed...never have been. But this night I did just that. I wanted to touch, taste, inhale every part of him. I tried to slow myself down...make this last...enjoy every sensation. My eyes adjusted to the dim light provided by the digital clock near the bed enough that I could see him, though not so well as to see the look in his eyes which I really wanted to see. Every touch, every kiss, every whispered endearment added fuel to the fire and after some time ( I have no idea how much time...time slowed down, time flew past, time ceased to have meaning) I was practically begging for him to take me. Begging without words. The joy of making love to someone...not just having sex...was overwhelming. After 4 years of not being touched or kissed, here I was being completely loved and giving all of myself in return. And not one second of it felt wrong or uncomfortable. I didn't think of Ozzy once....nor of anyone or anything but my Love. Lying in his arms afterward, my head snuggled against his chest, I could only think that I'd finally found the person I was meant to be with forever. He asked if I had any regrets...none, except that it had taken so long to find him.
A bit later I remember that piece of red lace nestled in my overnight bag. I had forgotten to dress for the occasion! I mentioned it and he said he'd not forgotten. I put it on and modeled for him. Out came the camera and we did a photoshoot. Then he suggested that it would be very hot if I posed in the Red on the hood of the red mustang. Awesome idea, except that it was about 20 degrees outside. That didn't stop me though. I peeked outside...made sure no one else was around...and ran out to pose for him. Freezing does not begin to describe how cold I was. Went back in and warmed up...then out again. He had another great idea. We could drive down to the bridge that was completely outlined in white Christmas lights and get a few shots of me there. It would have been a great photo but I couldn't bring myself to do it. It was too cold and I wasn't wanting to get arrested for indecent exposure. I kind of regret now that I didn't do it. Perhaps another time....next Christmas maybe.
I thought that we might make love again but I fell asleep wrapped in his arms while trying to get warm again. I regret sleeping those hours away. But he said he loved watching me sleep. I slept lightly, always aware of him there and looking up from time to time to smile at him. Sometime while I was sleeping my phone rang. It was Ozzy. I didn't answer. I got up at about 5:30 AM, packed away the Red and took a quick shower. It was time to go back to my parents. Leaving him was the last thing I wanted to do. It seemed we'd hardly had any time together...not nearly enough. I wanted to turn back the clock and have that time again. Long, lingering kisses...reluctant goodbyes. It was the morning of Christmas Eve and I would not see him again for two days.
I followed him through dense fog to the small town where my parents were. We pulled in to a gas station...not another soul was around...and said our goodbyes again. And then I drove away down the lonely dirt road smiling as I remembered his touch, his scent and his kiss. Fighting the desire to turn around and go back to him. It was still dark and very foggy when I pulled in to my parent's place. They were still sleeping though they awakened when I arrived. I felt like it must be obvious what I'd been doing just hours before but they seemed not to notice anything out of the ordinary. They asked about Tammy's party. I made up stories about people I haven't seen in over thirty years. His name was not one of those I mentioned. They seemed to believe every word.
Later, I took a walk in the woods and called him from the river bank. Only a few hours had passed and I was missing him already.
He went to spend Christmas with his mother. And I would be spending mine with my parents and my grandmother. Next year, we promised, we would be together for Christmas. Next year everyone would know that we are together...that we are in love.
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