Today has been one of my lowest days. First I wake up to see all the fresh foods we usually buy so I can cook from scratch have been replaced with jarred foods and unhealthy microwave snacks along with chips, twinkies.... You get the idea.
My family no longer wants to have to wait for a good fresh meal. They want the easy fast meal… I’m being replaced with junk food.
I’ve been feeling depressed and I’m not sure why. I’ve found a guy that I genuinely like, talking to him makes me happy… But I always have to message him first, or we won’t talk for days. I respond to his messages within minutes but he can go hours without responding to mine. I don’t want to get attached too fast. We’ve known each other for almost a month now. We’ve had sex once and we were planning to do it again but he’s always busy with something. We had planned to hang out tonight. When I texted to confirm he was coming over tonight he responded with a “Maybe....” he’s “probably going to be out late with friends.” .. Maybe I’m a bad person because I would definitely leave my friends earlier than usual to hang out with him. I’ve waited all week for today because I knew he was coming over. I got my hopes up too high apparently. I wanted to tell him how I really felt but who really wants to hear about that? I just feel like I’m whining. I ended up telling him it was fine and that he didn’t have to come.. He left me on read. I just want someone to stand up and actually fight for me, to tell me “No, I want to..” But no.
I’ve met a lot of guys, some I liked, some I didn’t. But out of them all I really like him. Looking back at previous guys I dated or almost dated. He is the best one. Why does he make me so crazy? I feel dejected when he doesn’t respond but just leaves me on read. When I turn my phone off for a few hours just to see if he’ll message on his own… I come back to nothing.
I don’t know how to just tell him I honestly like him. Because I don’t think he feels that way about me. I’m just something to fill in his free time. But I really don’t want to believe that....
I should ask, but i’m afraid of what the answer might be.
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