Funny Guy in TheIntrovertedSocialButterfly’s non existent dating life

“Oh Shit… he’s the one I want”
I felt it from the first time I looked at his profile. When I read what he wrote on the dating site, my mind was made up. He was a yes. I want to talk to him.
Up until then, I have chatted with some guys for a few days here and there but it all just fizzled out. I was almost ready to give up on the whole online dating thing, but I figured that I would give this one app a look. What could it hurt? I wasn’t paying anything. Let’s just see what it’s about.
That’s when I saw him. 13 miles away. Dark hair. Ice blue eyes. He was very clear about what he wanted. And at that moment, I wanted to be that. I really did. It’s like he knew what I was missing in my life.
I liked him. I poked him. And then I just crossed my fingers in hopes that he liked me back. It took 2 days… but he liked me back. And immediately wrote to me.
And when I got that message I was floored. Without me even saying anything, he said the exact things that I was thinking. He felt an urgency to write to me in hopes that he didn’t miss the opportunity to talk to me. That he was about to close down the app but he opened it one last time and saw me.
At that exact moment.... my heart started pounding. My temperature shot up and I am pretty sure I was blushing from head to toe.
Our conversation was so easy. We talked from 7am until 2 am the next morning. Only stopping to sleep. Then we started back up as soon as we woke up.
We made each other laugh. We vented about what bothered us in past relationships. We talked about family and serious things that happened in our life. He amazed me. His passion for the things he loved. His humor. He totally got me.
After a few days, we agreed that we need to meet. I just had to get past the nerves. And find a time when he wasn’t working and I had a babysitter.
We talked on the phone for hours. It was so easy.
After about a week and a half, life got busy and we weren’t texting non stop. We both had work. (He had 2 jobs) And I have a 6 year old with prior commitments that kept me busy. It wasn’t a big deal. When he got home or woke up, he messaged me. And my heart felt full. He said he was having a tough time with things at the moment and he can’t focus and isn’t sleeping well. He said he wanted to call me when we both had time so he can explain where his head is at because he doesn’t want me thinking it had anything to do with “us”. I didn’t really think much of it, but I told him I had a lot of time to kill the next day and for him to call me when he wakes up.
In that very same text convo, we decided that it was time to pick a time to meet. He suggested the following Monday and I agreed.
But that’s when things changed.... he never called me that next day (Saturday)… and didn’t text me Sunday… and when I sent a message about what was going on about Monday… I heard nothing. I was heartbroken. I couldn’t understand what I did. Our last convo was him telling me that he was so sure that he wanted to meet me. That talking to me was the only thing that kept his world from spinning out of control at that moment. And now… silence.
I sent him some little texts. And then I sent him a long text on Tuesday. Made it funny… like a missing persons ad. Asking if he ghosted me. And making it known that I didn’t want that to happen.
It took a day, but he responded. He told me that he can’t stop thinking about me. But he was going through shit. He lost his job the week before. Denied unemployment. He was a mess and that he had to get things situated with that before he can meet me. He said he would call me when he could.
Okay..........
He said he thinks the world of me. His feelings haven’t changed at all. But he’s the kind of guy that likes to take care of the people he cares about and in his position, he could barely take care of himself let alone me. He said he feels like I deserve more than just a coffee and he needs to get everything fixed before we meet.
WTF?
That was 3 weeks ago. He checks in with me maybe once a week. Giving me an update about how he isn’t being very successful in the job search. That his feelings haven’t changed about me. That he will make it up to me when we actually get together.
But… that’s it. After the check in chat, I hear nothing.... until the next random check in.
I’m so confused. I don’t want to be wrapped up in this emotional relationship. But I can’t drop it. Am I stupid for waiting? Do I move on and just let it be?
I have a hard time trusting but I REALLY want to believe that I’ll get a message or phonecall soon saying that the wait is over.
God, I hope so. I want my funny guy. ☹️