Well, fuck. in Give Me Mercy and a Minute now. I'm a bleed a little poison out.

Time to write. I have been trying to get around to writing for awhile. I just…words, man. So anyway…I don’t really know where this is gonna go.

Where do I start? How about work today? Then I will get to the meaty stuff. Well, work. My patience is done with work. Tired of having this lazy ass team. Cleaning up after them and doing the majority of their job because they are too god damn lazy to do the work. If I am dealing with something and you have the only equipment to do a certain task, when I say, Hey..I need you to do these tasks....The response is. OKAY. Not. “I dont want to do that. You do it.” Bitch I directed you to do it for a reason. This is part of your responsibilities too. You are part of this team, we all have to do all of it. The only reason I do most of it is because you sorry fucks can’t be trusted to do it. And I get paid maybe the same if not a tiny bit more than you? Fuck no. That shit needs to change. If I have to take my break and I tell you you need to get the next pallet out....You get the next pallet. You don’t say I will wait until you get back for you to do it. Shit needs done. It can’t all wait for me. That’s why it is a team and not just me doing all of it…which would be impractical, even though I am not far from it. If I ask you when you want to take your break so I can delegate other people to tasks around it and for their breaks too....you thank me for giving you the chance to choose your break. You don’t say I wont take it until last second that way when you get back you only have 20 minutes left and cant really do any tasks in that short time. Mother fucker. This is how a job works. You know your responsibility and you get it the fuck done. On a team you pull your weight. You don’t fucking dilly dally so someone else has to pick up your slack. I am going to talk to my team leads about it next time i work, because my patience is fucking shot. Oh and lets not forget the kid thinking he can tell me what to do. Look here kid. You dont get to bitch at me about someone sending backstock back wrong because it creates a hassle for you to backstock. 2 hours ago he didn’t know how to backstock....You don’t get to get picky about shit you just learned. And you are literally guilty of the exact thing you bitching about son. I was gone for one week, and you got a big head thinking you knew more than me, better than me, and even think you have authority to tell me what to do. The entire store knows…my department…is mine. I am THE Guy. Cool your jets.And remember I make the decisions. SO. sit it down. And know your role.

Jassmine. My dear. What the fuck is going on? We talked shit out. We agreed that we both wanted to stay friends and shit. Hard to believe here babe. The last time we talked was like over 2 weeks ago. How am I supposed to take that. I know you got shit going on, but I do think I deserve a check in at least. A hi? Like shit. The more you act like I aint shit the more I overthink shit. Right now I am half way convinced that I was filler. I filled a role for you after Joyce bounced, and now you got Court and company and no longer need me. Reminds me of the shit you said about how after you lost Joyce you wouldn’t let yourself lose me too. Like shit. Doubt that. But I dont want to think like that but I can’t help wonder ya know. And when you like hid how you felt and took forever to tell me and just talked to me less and less and less and less depth how am I supposed to trust you? Now I am not speaking as romantic, because we talked that shit out. I am talking just as friends…Like…how can I trust you when you have actively refused to tell me how you feel and shit And hid shit for like awhile and how am I supposed to react to that shit. Trust you? You talk to me next to not at all now. You hid shit from me that you know damn well you could always talk to me about anything. Shit. I’m a good dude. If you dont feel romantically anymore than thats that. Doesn’t mean you gotta drop me off the face of the earth. We can make friendship work. Shit…I somehow managed to be friends with Amber again…which…idk if I wrote about that shit. Like yo…if that bitch can fuck around on me and get knocked up and marry the dickhead then have him die and treat me like shit and we can be friends, then you bet your futzing ass we can make it work. But whatever. Ya know. I want you in my life and to be part of your life, but if you don’t want that, then maybe give me a heads up…that’d be cool. Don’t leave me hangin....lol I am a fairly patient guy but god damn. A little check in…especially after all that flooding would be nice.

FAMILY. Let me tell you…FUCK. These. People. My patience is shot. I have spent 3 years, almost 4 now? Shit I lost track. I have busted my ass to try and get these people to take some god damn responsibility for themselves and to behave as adults. I am done with it. I know I say that a lot but I am just done. When I am demonized and villainized for not going along with the hypernegative mindset. For combatting the pessimistic bullshit, and trying to get you all to step up and work forward instead of wallowing in your own bullshit. I get it. A bad thing happened. BUT FUCKING HELL. Suck it the fuck up. I have offered my “HELP” with dealing with things. Help is the operative word. Because help implies the you are getting assistance dealing with something. So you are involved, you’re not having someone do all of it for you. You are getting help dealing with it. I will not clean up the rest of your shit. Take some god damn initiative and remove the things that you claim cause you pain, but oh wait…getting rid of it means “throwing my life away.” Like for fucks sake. That makes zero sense. You can’t hold on to these contradicting ideals. Do you want to rid yourself of it and move on or keep it all and hate everything for forever. Pick one. And stop trying to use it against me to make me feel like shit for not knowing what to fucking do to help. For fucks sake I explained communication to you the other day and how I require you to behave like an adult and use your big kid words to communicate what you need done so that we can accommodate. Your response here should be. Okay. Then communicate. NOT DO THE EXACT OPPOSITE AND THEN TRY TO MAKE ME OUT TO BE THE BAD GUY FOR PLANNING MY OWN SHIT WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT YOU WANT OR NEED DONE. Plain and fucking simple. Use. Your. Words. Not too complicated right? Or am I the crazy one? HA. Good one, me.

At any rate. There is a chance of me and some friends getting a place in a few months. Patiently waiting to hear more information about that. I have no concerns about living with them really. The only concern I have is if mother will sack the fuck up and deal with her own shit, or if I will have to figure her shit out for her. I worry about if she doesnt and if she does something stupid that it would be on my conscience. Oddly, enough My Hero Academia is helping me with that some. I am still getting caught up but lately they have been talking about not being able to save everyone. There are people out of your reach. Yadda yadda. I am nerd.

Did I post my tattoo? I can’t remember, so have a couple images of my tat.

I love it more and more.
That being said I have many more I want to get. The two leading ones right now that I am trying to figure out is Cubone tattoo and The Last Of Us tattoo. I just don’t know how to get them. Cubone I am unsure what to have. Part of me likes the idea of a jolly roger like so (I think I prefer the two Bonerangs)

That being said…I feel like that doesn’t show Cubone. So I am not sure what I would do to actually show my boy Cubone.

Now the last of us one....The art that works is the Firefly logo, but I am not totally sure I agree with the fireflies. Em. Shut it you haven’t seen the game yet to understand my dilemma.
I do like the Endure and Survive bit too. Not sure what I want, but I definitely need a The Last Of Us tattoo.

Last updated June 25, 2018