Is This Where You Wanted To Be? (January 24, 2013) in Old OD Entries

I never thought about this specific thing before but I thought I would write about it.

I was sitting at my computer today researching some things for English class and the maintenance lady came in as she usually does every Thursday and she smiled at me and went into the bathroom to clean it.

She keeps the door open, so today( for some reason) I watched her clean. She didn't notice me looking at her. I began to think about what it must be like to work at a university and have her job.

What must it be like to look at all the eager, happy and youthful faces everyday and see that they are making a bright future for themselves. They have their whole life ahead of them. To think of all the possibilities that are in store for them. And here she is. The highlight of her job is making sure that these students have toilet paper in their bathrooms.

I thought about whether it was hard for her or not. Does she think about her life and look back on the choices she made? Does she regret them? Does she think about things that she could have done differently? Does she envy us? Is she happy where she is?

Before she left she smiled at me and told me to have a good day. I smiled back and said you too.

After she left I just kept thinking about the people who are stuck in minimum wage jobs.

I pictured an older woman behind the counter of a McDonald's and thought about all the customers she encounters, all the fake smiles she gives out everyday. That customer left without a second thought of that woman's life. The only thought they had was if she remembered to put ketchup and salt in the bag. I am guilty of this too I never gave it a second thought either. Why would you?

But anyway I thought about the redundancy of a life that woman must have who stands behind the counter. That sounds like a living hell. Nowhere to go. You are just there. Just drifting.

Did that woman have dreams of better things? What did she aspire to be? What went wrong? Is life good to her now?

Hell, I don't know why I am thinking about this anyway.

Fuck man who am I to judge? That woman might have a great life and would change nothing about it.

I don't know, I think about useless things sometimes.