Why Should You Settle? (December 21, 2012) in Old OD Entries

My friend has been talking to this guy over the past couple of weeks. She seemed to like him and I was excited for her...maybe more excited for her than she was for herself.

Let me explain...

She has been single pretty much all of her life. She is a great girl...sweet, intelligent, and funny. She has very low self-esteem though and it shows through. She compares herself to everyone it drives me insane...especially when she compares herself to me. It makes me sad that such a great person can feel so low about herself.

So this guy has been giving her a good amount of attention lately and it is new to her. I was happy for her because I thought she genuinely liked him...she doesn't.

I was a little confused when I found out that she didn't like him the way he liked her. But she accepted the date that he asked her on. I asked her why she had accepted and she said " Kayla it's not like I'm gonna get any better, he is a nice enough guy and he is decent so why not." I looked at her and I was pretty pissed off. I told her that it was crazy that she was going on a date with a guy just because she felt that she didn't have any other options. I gave her the best friend talk of you are beautiful and you will find someone that you like soon you just have to wait. I really believe that she will...anyone would be lucky to have her as a girlfriend. She got pissed and said " Kayla... you want MY blunt answer to the crap that you are feeding me?" " I am fat, it's not easy for me to find anyone that will ever be interested in me, guys don't like the way I look they want something that looks like you! It's not as easy for me as it is for you, so just leave me alone and let me do what I want to do."

I was pretty amazed at what I had just heard. I didn't say anything else I didn't know what to say. To hear that raw honesty from her was depressing. Did she really believe that? I guess she did...maybe.

I don't understand why someone would want to be with someone that they weren't really interested in or ever would be interested in. Maybe it is loneliness or desperation. I think that it is unfair to the person that the person is settling for and it leads to unhappiness in the relationship. So what is the point?

I guess insecurities can get in the way of prospering as a person and in relationships. This is a bitter truth. And ones insecurities are hard things to get past.

Hopefully not a lot of these kinds of relationships exist...