I ache. in Give Me Mercy and a Minute now. I'm a bleed a little poison out.

So facebook decided to throw some pictures of her into my face today. And I have been rightfully bummed all day because of it. So YAAAAY. This is going to be a tough one.
I keep telling myself that I make it to the beach I can decompress and relax, and figure out what I need to do. But I don’t know if I am that kind of guy. I am just caught in this feeling of I fucked up in trying to take care of a family that doesn’t care about me at all. And in doing so I lost what little bit of light I had. Now that that is gone, what do I do? Where do I go? How long will I have to be alone again? Should I just give up and go with this loner lifestyle? That is hard for me. I am a loving person. I want a connection with someone that I can dote on. I want to help make someone’s world that makes my world too. I want the arguments, I want the sleeping on the couch, I want the making up. I want to make her laugh. I loved her laugh… FUCK. Nope gotta stop writing.