Do You Ever Get Over Your First? (September 15, 2012) in Old OD Entries

It's about 2 in the morning right now and I am tired but I have to write about this. So I talked to my ex an hour ago and our conversation ends up with him telling me that he is getting married to the girl that he has been seeing for a while, a girl that he loves. I freaked out...I mean it is weird for me to hear this. He is only 18 and I mean marriage is a really serious thing. He is not the type to do something stupid at all and they have not had sex yet so its not like he is marrying her because he got her pregnant.

This lead me to question why I got so upset. I should be happy for him that he found someone who he loves and loves him back...he is a great guy and deserves it. We have been friends since the 7th grade so I should be happy and supportive and not be judgmental.

We used to date and he was the first guy I ever said " I love you" to and I was the first girl he ever said it to and meant it. I truly cared about him and I knew he felt the same.

I don't believe in marriage and I think that you should live your life and it is against human nature to be monogamous. He wanted to marry me and have children but I said "maybe you never know, lets just have fun for now" (to be honest I didn't want to do any of this stuff) he always wanted more so he broke up with me because he said that he didn't see a future with me. I was heartbroken and let me tell you I am not the type to whine over a guy at all, in fact I laugh at girls like that I think it is pathetic. I cried but eventually I got over it and we talked like we used to...as friends. I thought being friends was for the best and it has been two years since we have been in a relationship together and we are still the best of friends :).

Tonight it was different. When he told me he might be getting married I just felt sad, angry, jealous just a lot of emotion. I just don't understand why I feel this way...I have moved on...so why all of a sudden is this bothering me?

Has anyone experienced this before? Is this normal or am I just making nothing into something?

I hope I find out...