Growing up, I was taught to be a polite person. Say “Please”, “Thank You”, and “May I’s”. I also started the really bad habit of smile and nod. Whenever I couldn’t hear anything or wasn’t understand what people were saying: I just smile and nodded or uttered the famous word, “Uh-huh”. A word not really a word but a vocal expression of a neutral acknowledgment that you’ve heard a person.
Other habits that I’ve done include:
- Giving basic answers such as “Yes”, “No”, “oh, I see”, “well, that’s no good”
- A blank stare
- Changing a abject because I have NO idea what we are even talking about
- Excusing myself to do some menial thing to get out of a conversation
I’ve been working on not doing these items over the years. However, whenever I meet new people or get into a group setting, these habits all just come out. Group settings are probably the worst thing for me. Even with no background noise, I have an extremely hard time following conversation. Most of the time it’s when 2 or more people are talking at the same time. Usually, I just smile and nod and go with whatever the group says or does.
This can be a dangerous sediment for a couple reasons. One: I may not always agree with what’s going on and can be “guilty by association” and Two: I may have some ideas that people like but never speak up because I don’t know if someone already said it or if it’s still within the flow of the conversation.
On that note: people who constantly change subjects in a course of conversation drives me NUTS!! I feel more like a wall than a person because I have no idea when to jump in or share my thoughts and opinions. So, what can YOU do?
-
Attention: Get my attention before trying to speak to me. Even if I know your voice and we’ve been friends, FOREVER, making sure I know you’re talking will help us both. It’s simple as calling my name, tapping my shoulder (make sure you are tapping the side you’re standing at!), or waving at me (not in my face, though!!).
-
Face to face: ALWAYS make sure I am looking at you or can see your mouth. I can lip read at profile and even in a mirror.
-
Walls: Never attempt conversation with walls between us. Trying to talk to me in the bathroom will only get you basic answers. This also goes for being in another room and trying to talk to me. Sound does not travel enough for me (between rooms or walls) to pick up enough words to understand what you are saying.
-
Large rooms: the same rules apply with large rooms as with walls. Even if we are in the same room, if there’s more than 10 feet distance between us-I will not catch everything you say. It’s best to get my attention and move closer to me. Or, you can always have someone next to me repeat what you have said.
-
Facial expression: my face is ALWAYS going to be a dead give away whether or not I am understanding. If I have a blank look, staring off into space, or doing the smile and nod: chances are-I have no clue what you are talking about.
-
In a group setting: having one person talk at a time is very beneficial. I have to know who is talking before being able to comprehend what is being said and when there’s a lot of people talking: I can get whiplash just trying to see who’s talking! However, people do get excited and things happen. So, having one person summarize what’s being said will help. Taking turns and going in a circle with discussions will help. It will just take practice and getting to know how the group dynamics will work.
-
Whispers: PLEASE!!! Never ever whisper to me. I will never get what you said. You can mouth the words and I’ll get it more that way. But, it’s best to write it down or text me if you feel the need to whisper.
I hope these tips help! This is all I can think of, for now. This blog will be ongoing-so keep checking back for more! Thank you all who read this!
Loading comments...