Maybe I need to stop caring about others. Why? Good question.
Here’s the reason…
One of my co-workers was dressed up when normally she’s not. Our dress code is relaxed to a point, jeans everyday as well as tennis shoes, T-shirts, hoodies, no jeggings (whatever those are–showing my age again).
Anyways, I asked her if she had an interview (within the company), but she gave me a sad and tired look, and really didn’t answer me. I asked if everything was okay, but no answer. I told her I hope she’s okay and walked away towards our lunch room to make a phone call.
I was concerned that something was wrong and so at lunch I asked another co-worker who is closer to her if she was okay, but she said she wouldn’t divulge anything and to ask her. When I told her I did she shrugged her shoulders.
Then I realized that maybe she attended a funeral, either her boyfriend’s grandfather or a friend of hers at work who lost her baby near the end of her second trimester.
About two hours later the co-worker I was concerned about sent me an upsetting email saying she was pissed off at me that I asked someone else about why she was dressed up today and why she looked the way she did. She went on about if she wanted me to know she would have told me. She went on to say that she knows I mean well, but very pissed off that I went behind her back.
I responded with an apology and just said that sometimes I care too much and I was just really concerned because she was near tears and thought she could use a hug or a distraction.
No response back, but then again my shift ended 25 minutes later.
When I left I cried a little bit because I tried to show compassion and was concerned for someone I work with.
I was wondering if I did do something wrong. Was I wrong to ask another co-worker if she was okay? I didn’t need details, just wanted to make sure she was okay.
My mothering instinct or my only child syndrome was at play, where I don’t always care about myself, I just want to make sure you’re okay unless of course I dislike you.
Normally, I don’t let this bother me, but it did because I was being caring. Sorry that my generation (born in the early 80’s) had caring and moral cartoons such as She-Ra, He-Man, Care Bears, My Little Pony, GI Joe, and plenty more. I am older than her by at least 15 years.
Sad that she made me feel small and sad of how little by little my faith in humanity dwindles. I hope my boys don’t learn of this for a very long time
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