Finally an Update in Musings

Marriage:
Things are good! Nathan got a vasectomy a few weeks ago. In some ways it was a hard choice. I once read that you shouldn’t worry about the pregnancy, baby and toddler phase when planning the number of children you want, but rather think of how many people you want around the table at Thanksgiving one day when they’re adults. If I was being honest I’d love having 3-4 kids in the long run but my I know for sure my body just can’t take any more babies.

I am really happy overall with our girls though and Nathan has taken to his role as a “girl Dad” swimmingly. I know our other option would be adoption but so far Nathan has put up the red light on that one. And I would never want to push him into a huge decision like that if he wasn’t all in.

Otherwise our relationship is good and not too much to report.

Parenting:
Leah has recently gone through a defiant stage. She just wants to ignore everything we tell her to do and do what she wants consequences be damned. I know it’s developmentally appropriate but it is so difficult and exhausting as a parent. I had a dream she was almost eaten by a shark because she didn’t listen to me and ran into the ocean. If that isn’t a metaphor for exactly how I feel I don’t know what is.

We have tackled it head on with a chore/behavior chart. Doing chores and having good behavior give her a ticket. Bad behavior get them taken away. Tickets basically equal a quarter and that’s how much money she’s earned to pick out whatever she likes. We also have thrown in a lesson in money saving as well. She is currently saving for a kite. It has, for the most part, worked really well. I try to pick times she is getting squirrely to remind her she could do something for a ticket. She can sweep, mop, put away laundry, feed the dog etc. She also gets tickets taken away for acting up at school. So hopefully we see some change there in the long run. That and spending some one on one time with her do seem to help.

Alex is all toddler. She’s learning new words and putting words together every day. She is heart breakingly adorable and I die at her cuteness daily. She’s also at the super annoying stage of making messes and learning boundaries. I know this stage is so fleeting so I am trying to embrace it. I also admit that I enjoy every stage she is done with knowing we won’t have to deal with it again. Bye bye pacis! And we are allllmost done with the crib too. We are looking at getting her a big girl bed around two (3 months away!).

The girls get along SO WELL right now. I joked to Nathan that they aren’t allowed to watch media where siblings are fighting because what they have going on is perfect. Leah has her (understandable) frustrated moments when Alex wrecks her stuff but for the most part they rarely fight. I hope it stays like this for as long as possible. I love seeing them play and how much they adore and take care of each other.

Shop:
Things seem to be either all or nothing. I’ll have weeks of several sales in a row and then weeks (like this last one) with only one. It’s frustrating how unpredictable it is. In some ways I do wish I had a regular job with regular income but I know at this point making a little extra money and being able to stay home with my girls is invaluable. We are doing really well with money since Nathan got this higher paying job. We live below our means and are not as dependent on my income.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t want sales or to be successful. I’ve been considering other market places and new product lines. It’s all going to work out okay. In the end I’m proud of the products I make and the service I provide to my customers and that’s all I can do.

Other family:
My brother and sister in law moved here! They are currently staying with my parents but they bought a house and are moving in in a few weeks. My brother likes his new job and they are happy to be here. It’s cool to see them so often. More babysitters for us ;) Their new house is only blocks away from us so that’ll be cool. My sister in law really loves spending time with the girls and even picks them up little gifts when she sees something they’d like. My kiddos so blessed to have so many people who love them.

And mostly I can’t wait to be an aunt and I will spoil their babies like crazy when they get here :)

Friends:
Since we started going the church we are at now I have made a few Mom friends. The friendships are not as deep as I would probably like but it’s at least nice to have a few moms to have play dates with. There is one in particular who I can also feel free to text my troubles to and she gives me advice. I’m not sure I could ask for more at this stage.

There is one lady in the group who is the youth ministers wife. It seems as if he’s basically being pushed out of his position by the personnel committee. I’m not at all happy about it. They’re so sweet and she is 12 weeks pregnant and it seems cruel to put them out. I honestly don’t know the details though and there could be a solid reason but it sounds like they’re just putting blame on him for not having the numbers in the youth group that they want. But maybe that’s just speculation.

I hate church politics and it’s the reason I’ll never work at a church ever again. I wish these sort of matters were easier to resolve. When I worked at a church it was so dizzying the committees you had to report to and the things that got lost in translation. I wish I knew the answer but I don’t. I’m called to love people and I will and if I can do something to keep these situations from happening I will speak up. I just don’t know what it is I need to do.

(Side note: she told us what was going on at a recent play date. She got teary eyed and it made Alex really upset. She had to sit with her til she was done crying. Oh my sweet sensitive soul.)

Personal:
I have been more focused on health lately. We are going to the beach with Nathan’s family in July. I haven’t worn a bathing suit since before having kids. My sisters in law are both tall and skinny and even my mother in law is still in shape. So I have had some anxiety about being around them in a bathing suit. But I really don’t want to go down that road. I want to be a good example of body positivity for my girls.

I have instead been trying to think of it like I’m nourishing my body. Including more fruits and veggies in my diet. Excluding added sugar and things I know only make me feel bad. Cutting down to only 2 alcoholic beverages a week. Going for walks with the dog and also doing some aerobics and yoga. I don’t know that I’ve actually lost weight but I have lost some inches and I feel better which is good.