Fast forward 2-3 years into our relationship, we were constantly rocky. I never felt like he prioritised seeing me. If there was a chance he could hang out with friends or have band practice, he wouldn’t make plans with me until last minute when he knew. I felt so unwanted and underappreciated although I realise now I probably was not making all the effort in the world to make things work. He called me mean all the time when I would hope around with him. He acted annoyed when I wanted to stay home with him instead of going on dates. We didn’t get to see each other often due to conflicting work schedules. We spent 3-4 hours a day together maybe twice a week. I was frustrated that i didn’t get to see him much or talk to him. He wouldn’t call me after work or before bed unless I begged him to. I’d have to remind him every day that I’d like to talk to him more on the phone, not just over text. I couldn’t handle feeling unwanted anymore. We were sitting on his bed and he mentioned that a song reminded him of me and that he had never been so in love with me in his whole life. He’d been mentioning to his friends marrying me. I couldn’t hold it together and I started crying. I’d been thinking the opposite. I couldn’t be with someone who made me feel so unwanted and alone. My conscience wouldn’t let me go on, I couldn’t lead him on. I told him I thought it was best to break up. We weren’t truly happy. That’s when I went wild.
I started talking to a guy I worked with. He was annoying and I never wanted to be with him. I had sex with him because I missed intimacy but he wouldn’t stop trying to be a thing. I ended that and started talking to an old friend of mine. He seemed to be on the same page as me. We were friends that were having sex. Until he tried to date me too. I ended all the random sex because I realized I only wanted Andrew. He would still text me “goodmorning beautiful” and remind me that he loved me every day that we were broken up. I knew I had to have him back, nobody else even compared. And it wasn’t easy getting him back either. He was insecure that I’d leave again. I made him take me on dates and see if we were still in love and could make things work. We had went to five guys (my fav) and I couldnt let go of his hand the whole drive home. Once we were home, he held me close and said he wanted to make things work. I remember jumping up and down and screaming in excitement. I knew things would be better this time and we’d be even more in love.
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