Why is it... in Thoughts of Dying - When You Don't Want To

Why can’t I accept? When do you give up? Why did she give up? Do I hold on to hope and keep my internal flame alive or do I just quit? When she seems not to care which I do? Is she confused also? People and books say “live in the moment” I live in that horrible place, all day, every day. I want to live in a future, but I can’t even see that anymore. When the back door is closed and the front door is locked and you end up standing alone in a cold, empty house that someone left you in, how are you supposed to feel?