I made an entry in “Dreams” a few days ago after another BL dream. I made some comment about how she’d be stuck in my head, and I was unfortunately right. I can’t escape her since. It’s not the all the time all day kinda thing, but the random memories pop up, and some of the dream bits. Mainly the fact that we were pregnant. Yeah, chalk that up on the list of absolutely impossible things.
It’s just starting to not be miserably freezing here. We’ve had snow the last few days, which turned into crunchy frozen white shit. I had door installs today and yesterday, and yesterday’s door sucked. Mainly because the bottom panel of it weighed about 60 lbs, and I had it up over my head trying to get it on my truck, when I slipped on the crunchy frozen white shit, fell on my back, and got body checked by said 60lb turd. I was fuming. I was also in massive amounts of pain, but I was also definitely fuming mad. Today doesn’t have me feeling any better. Tomorrow at least will be easier. Service calls, thankfully. Then of course I’ll probably need to do the brakes on the work truck this weekend, weather permitting. The front left is down to the damn pad backer from the sound of it.
Mutts got a skin infection in January that left her looking patchy, but also messed up her eye. Over the weekend I saw it getting worse, and decided to call the vet Monday to get her an appointment. I came in Monday evening and her eye looked horrible. I called our vet and took her into urgent care. The eye was basically done, they offered medications and creams and send her to an ophthalmologist and that MIGHT fix her eye. I looked at her, and she shot me this look like “hell no.” So she’s now a one eyed dog. It’s still swollen and sore, but she’s already doing better. She’s actually laying next to me on the couch, snoring, as I type this. The night she wasn’t here was difficult. It was disturbing to not have her laying somewhere snoring, or giving fatass (the cat) a bit of hell. Even he was weirded out by her not being here. Normally he gives her a casual sniff then steers clear of her, but he’s actually been at least in the same room she’s in since she came home from the vet. Heh, I just looked at him in the cat tree, and he’s got his head hung over the side of the top shelf of his cat tree, asleep, with this funny smile on his face.
Have I ever mentioned both of my pets are equally as strange as I am?
I got a private comment asking me why I’d not reached out to BL in all this time. I want to address that here. I have reached out to her. I sent her a friend request on Facecrook, and I sent her a message on there saying all the things I should have said a long time ago. I apologized for just how badly I fucked up with her, I thanked her for all the good she showed me - even though it took me entirely too long to realise it, and she opted not to reply. That’s fine. I’m not disappointed that she didn’t reply. I didn’t expect her to. Like I’ve said before, I know I fucked up MASSIVELY with her. I was too stupid back then to see just HOW badly, but I know it now. I don’t blame her for not replying, not even a little. I said to her what I needed to say. Aside what my subconscious thinks, I’m done. If she decides to reply, that’s up to her, and I’ll welcome it, but I’m not going to hold my breath and wait and hope she does. That’s just not realistic. She’s moved on, and that’s exactly what I need to do as well. Convincing my subconscious to catch up is another story.
I’m being stared at by both pets. I guess I need to put the laptop away and give them more attention. Greedy bastards. It’s okay. I love ‘em.