Just Another Night in Muddling Through As Best I Can
- Feb. 10, 2018, 8:43 p.m.
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- Public
Hello everyone. Once again despite my best intentions it’s been awhile since I’ve posted. Things have been hectic trying to help my son Brian and his family get situated and back into their own home. Between that and work I have it made much time to be online.
I guess I’m in a state tonight, what we refer to in the prison as being “in my feelings”. The end of this month, on February 24th at 3:06 p.m., my son Austin will have been gone from me longer than he lived. He died in 2000 at the age of 18 in a single-car accident. 3 years ago a drunk driver took my 21 year old son and his wife away when he chose to drive while impaired. The following is something that happened many years ago when Austin was still just a little boy and I just wanted to share with those of you who have or will one day have children. It made a huge impact on me then, and I continue that practice to this day.
“Years ago, around 1985 or so, I was at my grandmothers home and spanked my five year old son for breaking one of Grandma’s “whatnots”. Grandma immediately became upset with me for spatting his behind and related the following story. In 1931, her eight year old son Bernard “”Pooky” was running through the house, being rowdy. As he ran through the kitchen he knocked over the pail of milk, which was all they had for the day, and Grandma spanked him and sent him out into the fields with his older brother. While out there, Pooky broke his neck jumping on a haystack and died. Grandma related that one of the biggest regrets of her life since that day, over 70 years later, was that the last thing she did was speak to him in anger. She told me that I should never let my kids leave my presence without telling them I love them. Since that day, I never let a day go by without telling my children, usually several times a day, that I love them. I know they sometimes roll their eyes over it. I don’t care, they need to hear it and I need to say it. Today would have been my eldest son Austin’s 34th birthday. The last thing I told him before he died in a single car accident was that I loved him. On May 17, 2015 my son Bradley and his beautiful wife of five months, Shea, died as the result of a drunk driver. Minutes before the accident I spoke with Bradley on the phone. The last thing I told him was that I loved him.
In the scheme of things, it may seem a small comfort, but it is a comfort. Even amidst the rolling eyes and the sighs of sons and daughters who get tired of an over-emotional Dad, my children know that I love them come what may.
So, today on the anniversary of the start of my journey as a parent, I encourage everyone to tell your children, whether on earth or in Heaven, that you love them. One day it may be the last chance you get to say it in person rather than in prayer.”
I need tea. ⋅ February 11, 2018
Xxxxx