One week later... in The start of something?

I don’t know what to write but felt I should update.
It’s been uncomfortable in the house although most of the time I think hubby is oblivious to it.
He’s been working a lot of afternoon shift so I don’t have to spend that much time with him but at times we have both been sitting on the couch and where once we would snuggle I now sit away from him. I don’t even want to touch him in bed although I don’t actively push him away and we were intimate one time. I just let it happen.
Daughter isn’t speaking to him although she did say hi or bye to him one time when he was leaving or entering the house.
Son has been at my mums for a week now. I bought him a fitbit yesterday… he’s been wanting one. I feel like I have to buy him things to compensate for being a neglectful and horrible parent. I’m just riddled with guilt. Anyhow I also spoke to my mum who said she’s concerned about how much time he spends in his room. That was the same thing that used to get hubby riled up. My mum however, tries to keep him busy by giving him jobs and son gladly does them. Like I said to hubby, he doesn’t WANT to stay in his room all day, he just doesn’t know what to do and needs guidance.
I think the fitbit is motivating him a bit already as he’s been walking the dog a couple of times a day which is good. My mum also expressed concern about how big he is now but she just continues to feed him more and more. Son has gained a phenomenal amount of weight and I’ve tried to have gentle conversations about being healthy but he just doesn’t seem to care. Sometimes I don’t think he is even aware of how much weight he’s put on. When I see those “memory” posts come up on facebook it’s just glaring. It’s all part of the trauma he’s lived through I bet. He may be getting called away again for work. I hope so. It would be the best thing for him.
Hubby had a counselling session today. I’m not sure it’s going to do any good but at least he’s doing it willingly. Every time I remember that night I just feel sick inside.
I don’t know what else to write.
I’m drinking too much I think. I’m hiding my purchases from hubby because he would blow it way out of proportion. I think I’m having at least two glasses a day of wine. It may not sound like a lot but it’s EVERY day and on the weekend it goes to three or four.... That’s not good is it? I’m not trying to get drunk I just like wine.
At least work has been ok.
And I’m still running (through the pain)
And my reality shows have started again so that keeps me distracted while on the treadmill…

I really want to dress up and go somewhere nice on the weekend. I hope that can happen.