Back to Basics in Beasties Breathless Bedroom

I’ve angsted over writing this since my last entry. I’ve written it over and over again, always deleting and rewriting it because I was never satisfied with it, or I thought it was too personal. But then I realized, it’s my blog, it’s supposed to be personal. And it’s going to get even more personal when I finally get to the breathless part of this bedroom, so why angst now?

We going to go back to the beginning, the basics if you will.

I have six siblings. two of them are half-siblings and weren’t around a lot when I was a kid, but then we moved from a small town to a big city to be closer to them. I was nine at the time, I had friends, my grandparents were in my hometown, It was all I knew, so of course, I didn’t want to move, at all. I even refused to pack my toys and staged a little nine-year-old sit it to protest moving. My brother ended up talking me down and making me pack my toys by telling me that everything would be better in a big city and I’d get to see my older siblings more and that we could always visit my grandparents.

Next thing I knew we were living in a big city with so many people I didn’t know, I was terrified. I tried to cling to things that were familiar, my family, my hobbies, etc. Nothing worked because everything changed.

My parents were off looking for work, taking m younger siblings with them, and my older brothers, the ones I grew up with were off with my older siblings, the ones we moved to be closer to, and I was stuck in a foreign house, with foreign people, and forced to make my own way. That was the time when I had to grow up, a scared nine-year-old, all by herself, with strangers. Nothing nefarious happened, these are people my mom and dad trust, they wouldn’t have left me alone otherwise, but for me, to be surrounded with strangers when all I’ve ever known was my family, it was a lot, to say the least.

Our time at the strangers’ house was enlightening to me because they had a daughter, her name was Sole (So-lay), and she grew up the complete opposite of me. Where my parents were strict and punishing her parents were carefree and could care less what she did, said, went, etc. Basically, she had done and experienced things I’d never even known about because I was ‘homeschooled’ and was ‘small town’, her words, not mine. She showed me what it was like to live in her world those few weeks we stayed with them. We became best friends for that short time and I got to do things I’d never done before. Got to pretend, at least for a short while, that I was someone else.

She was older than me, she was eleven, I was nine, but she treated me like her equal, not like a little sister or like I was a child, which was new to me. I think that was the first time I’d ever had any sort of feelings for a girl. It wasn’t the inappropriate kind, where I thought of her naked or anything, I didn’t even know that girl on girl sex was possible at that age. It was completely innocent in the form where I could picture her and I getting married and living happily ever after, because at that time I just knew that when people loved each other they got married.

I wanted to marry her because she was nice, sweet, she smelled nice, and I liked the way her hair framed her face in a curly mess that she hated. It was pure affection that I didn’t think on too much but now looking back, it was the first time I’d ever thought of a woman in a lesbian kind of way. I hadn’t even felt that way towards a guy yet.

Fast forward some two or three weeks and we’re out of the strangers’ house and into an apartment of our own. I missed Sole dearly but we were in a new place and all the fears were back so soon I forgot about her and my infatuation with her. Hey, I was nine, don’t judge.

I made a bunch of friends while at these apartments, but one, in particular, stands out for this type of book. We will call her Dee, in replacement of her name. Dee was just like Sole by the fact that she grew up with carefree parents and they both taught me things I’d never known but they differed in every other way from there. Where Sole had curly, messy hair, Dee had straight, neat hair.

Dee and I instantly became best friends from the day she offered me to play Bingo with her. Well, a long ways into our friendship, she entrusted me with a secret, one I will now tell, hence the change of her name.

She told me that she’d recently tried a lesbian experience with one of her girl friends. She described everything, in detail. From the kissing, to the bumping of the, pardon my language, pussies. I was enamored with the tale and was learning everything she said verbatim. I had never thought of how women had sex before, never even thought women had sex with other women, but that day, I had my first lesbian sex dream. I wouldn’t call it a fantasy or wet dream, because I was like eleven and didn’t even know what those were but, I dreamed about Dee and I doing what she described to me earlier that day. I avoided her for a week after that.

That’s how my girl fantasies started.
Guys were a different story.

Stay tuned for more from one Curious Little Beasty!

Last updated January 28, 2018