I’m really tired but I had to get this off my chest. Have you ever been in a situation where you and your friends are joking around and one of them says something really self depreciating and you just go “same!” in a joking way and your friends think your being sarcastic or #relateable(forgive me)? But really you believe it and them laughing and joking about it makes the feeling even worse.
I am constantly in that position. I see nothing good about myself to the extent that when anyone compliments me for anything I instantly deny it or I believe that they are lying so that they can use me. I can’t sing unless i’m in a group, I can’t answer questions in class until I confirm my answer with at least two other people, and overall I can’t human with people.
I CAN NOT HUMAN
It’s like everything I say and do is just one major fuck up after another! Even though everyone is saying that I’m smart (no), funny ( you mean a freak), or talented ( I’m a dying walrus). But I keep all my negative thoughts to myself otherwise they try to shove the compliments down my throat. I just smile and say “Oh… thank you” and walk away because I can’t say anything after that. And all of this builds up and I end up screaming and dancing to some of the most alternative music I can find until i get tired. Does this happen to anyone else?
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