I did something stupid in Stories of my life... literally

I started having sex with a guy from the army. Yes I’ve heard that army guys cheat & stuff. So I lied in my other entries. I thought I just had a crush and was over it. But I’m not. Since Jan 29th ish me and Gabe (look at old entries for background on him) had sex while he was back from NC for holidays. After that we went back to normal, not talking, after a few days he went back to NC and we hadn’t spoken whatsoever. A few days ago he texts me out of no where, acting normal. then he tells me he’s coming back home. No wonder he’s talking to me. I was planning on not doing anything with him, at least that’s what I told myself. The thing is I know we have absolutely nothing in common, we don’t connect & will not work and I even get bored of him sometimes. So why do I still want him to want me as more than sex? Even though I know that me and him are just sex. Well, he got home and the next night I went out for a bit. I want to feel kike i’m the one who orders sex so I asked him what he was doing (when he’s home we pretty much only text each other when we want to fuck) he told me he was at a party and he was drunk. he kept messaging me “baby” which he has never called me outside of the bedroom and “babygirl” which he has NEVER called me. he kept telling me “i miss you” “wyd” “wya” (where you at aka where are you) and calling me and I told him I was getting food and then going to my friends house and I was still out for a few hours after. We don’t go out together anywhere. We just see each other when we wanna have sex and I go to his house and I drive and i don’t mind because he lives on my block and across the street from my best friend. But anyways he asked me if i wanted to pick him up or meet him there. which was weird but he was very close to where I was so I said I would get him. When he came inside he was telling me about the party and he was laughing and a little drunk. On the drive there he was stroking my hair and putting his hand in my face (he knows I hate that and does it to annoy me) When I parked outside of his house we stayed in the car a bit and he kissed me. I backed away and he was like what? I can’t miss you? I laughed and we went inside. We had sex. He kept trying to put his finger in my butthole and i kept swatting his hand away cause it kinda hurt sometimes and when he was eating me out he was licking my asshole (Never had anything done to my asshole so I felt weird but it felt good lol) But anyways he’s always trying to be in control during sex and to make him know that he’s not I demand positions and tell him to get up, lay back, do this & that but in the back of my mind I know he’s in control. Also when we were having sex we fell off the bed, laughed about it and kept on going. It was a sweet moment. So my problem is I know we don’t have a future but I keep wanting one and keep going back for sex in hopes that he will gain feelings for me and want more. what’s wrong with me? am I addicted or just stupid? Now that he went back to NC for army we don’t talk just snap each other occasionally, not even sex stuff (only sometimes) but he sends me random army things. I need someone to leave their opinion. It’s okay to be a little harsh (but not too brutal please) because I know the position I am in and how I may look and sound. Why did I do this…