Perpetual Chaos in New Beginnings

The house is a bombsite. I sold some furniture today. I have hella more to go because now we have decided not to keep most of it. The movers are coming tomorrow morning to load everything we want in. Once again, husband has so, so much stuff, and he isn’t even materialistic. Meanwhile, I can just wander out of this house with nothing but a suitcase.

I am going to be happy to see everything loaded tomorrow. I abandoned hubby and sister near the end of the packing. I’m too tired. I think I did a lot today. I moved so much, lifted heavy couches and tables and all kinds of furniture, and throughout I have felt nothing but body shattering exhaustion. My body is messed up. I woke up after a 9 hour sleep and I would have slept another 12 hours if I could. Walking up the stairs is a mission. Going to the store was hell, and I stupidly forgot to get vitamins.

I just want this to be over. I want to be in Ottawa right now, in a tidy home, snuggled in a bed, laptop in my lap, writing away. I want this nightmare I’ve lived the last 16months to be over and done with.

I can’t wait.