Just made an account today. I’ve thought about journaling in the past but I usually have difficulty adding new things to my routine. I also don’t really have the patience to physically write things down - typing is much easier for me. I’m hoping that getting my thoughts down somehow will be helpful so that they’re not stuck in my mind, especially my negative thoughts.
The last few days have been rough. I’m out of one of my medications and may not be able to get a refill for another week. It’s an antidepressant - Zoloft. I’ve been taking it in addition to another antidepressant called Wellbutrin for a year now. It did seem to help a lot at first, but the effects of both have kind of waned over time. And now that I’m out of the Zoloft, I’m really feeling the difference.
I’m just really tired of being tired. Sometimes it doesn’t feel fair to me, to feel like I’m constantly running on empty while there are people that seem to have boundless energy and can accomplish so much because of it. There’s so many things that I want to do, but a lot of the time I feel limited.
I don’t want to be limited.
I’m sad because I wanted Mickey to be more supportive. I don’t think he really cares about me. I’m just some girl from Tinder to fuck I guess. Initially he was just a guy from Tinder for me to fuck and that was it, but the way that he acts towards me is confusing. We agreed on just being casual, but sometimes he acts like he feels more for me than that. He oscillates between acting close and being distant, so I can’t read him. And I hoped that maybe he would prove himself when I asked him for help yesterday, but clearly I don’t matter as much to him as I thought. I haven’t felt this lonely in a long time.
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