09•01•18 in A day in the life

I always believed that once you were to turn 20 your life would fall into place, of course there’s always the chance that that still happens I mean it’s only been what, 4 days? I just never thought, or even imagined, that I’d have to start it without the one person I thought I’d always have forever. Honestly I’m a little disappointed in myself more than anything, disappointed that I was naive enough to believe him when he told me I was his best friend or that he loved me, disappointed that I didn’t realise sooner than he would replace me like they all seem to in the end.. I’m lost, in a stump, stuck in this constant cycle of complete content to being relentlessly broken; maybe they were right when they said the pain never really goes away..