Starting Small in Beasties Breathless Bedroom

I first found out about BDSM when I was fifteen. As a child and young adult, I didn’t have a lot of technology. My household had one computer, no internet, and no cell phones except for my parent’s. The computer we used to play games and the music that was on it. That’s it. We had the most basics of cable, like you flip through the same ten channels over and over until you went crazy. That’s about it. I had never even touched a phone, not even flip top, before I was twelve.

So, at fourteen, when I got my first touchscreen phone, I was curious as hell. I was everywhere! Didn’t matter what, I wanted to know!

Well, I’ve said in my first entry, I have an overactive imagination. So from the time I hit puberty and hormones kicked in, I was curious about my body. Sex wasn’t something that my parents ever felt squeamish about talking about. We had the sex talk before we even had the stranger danger talk. No, I’m joking, but it was a really early conversation. So when I hit puberty I knew what to expect.

Or, I thought I did. With puberty for me, I bled through my vagina, I got really tall, and I got really kinky. That’s it. And it wasn’t the type kinky I am now, not even close, but it was more, me being curious as to if I touch here what would I feel? I never did, too embarrassed to ever do it, but I wanted to know.

Fast forward a year, I’m having dreams and fantasies about other people. People touching me where I was curious about. As a kid, that freaked me out, I mean, I hit puberty at eleven, so as a twelve-year-old, having vivid ass dreams about the girl down the street from me touching my private parts, I was terrified and thought something was wrong with me. I never told anyone, I was too embarrassed and didn’t think it would be all that important anyway.

Fast forward some more and I’m fourteen, with a new phone with internet connection and I’m searching everything. Suddenly, I stumble across porn. And I don’t mean any regular porn, I wish. It was the freaky shit you never tell anyone about for fear of being locked in a psych ward. And I liked it. Would get wet over it too. I never got off to it because I shared a room with my sister and never had any privacy and was terrified of getting caught doing it. In fact, I didn’t start masturbating till I was sixteen.

The things I liked and dreamed about weren’t something I’d ever even heard of before, so, like a fourteen-year-old, I automatically thought something was wrong with me. That I was a freak.

THEN!! The blessed age of fifteen came where I found out about BDSM.
I found it because of fanfiction believe it or not. A Sterek fanfic to be more precise. Fucking fanfiction told a fifteen-year-old girl that she wasn’t a freak, that the things she wanted weren’t as taboo as she thought they were.

As soon as I found out what it was called I researched everything I could on the topic. Everything! I asked people who were in the lifestyle. I read books on the topic, huddled in a corner hiding the title so no one could see. Basically, I have driven every avenue of BDSM except the lane where I actually experience it.

Fast forward another year, I’m sixteen, wants to experience BDSM so much but not having anyone, and I literally mean not a single living soul, to talk to about it and I go back online. Okay, let me be honest, I never actually got off it, but I’m on this app. Whisper.
Whisper is an anonymous app where people post pictures with words over them with whatever they want to say. I didn’t go one there to talk about BDSM at all, if anything I just like seeing what other people say. (I find it fascinating the things people say when they think it can’t be traced back to them.)

I’m on this app and I make a post, can’t remember what it was about now, probably about sex, but suddenly all these guys are flooding my DM’s being perverse guys basically. But one stood out to me, he was in his twenties I believe, and his username was DomDaddy.
Now, I didn’t reply to his message because of his username, no I replied because of all the perverse messages I got his wasn’t. It was civilized, nice, welcoming. So I responded, we talked for a bit, he was nice. Then he asked me about a topic I felt was a bit inappropriate. So I told him my age. He backed off immediately, told me it was too bad that I was so young because I had a great personality and seemed older and that he liked talking to me. I was ecstatic! o say the least. This older guy said I was cool and that I seemed older than I was! Like what?! It had never happened to me before. No guy had ever shown even the slightest of interest in me ever!

I knew the dangers of the internet so I wasn’t stupid and fell in love with the guy, nothing like that, I was just excited. So I told him we could continue talking, I just couldn’t do certain things. He was a gentleman about it and said that if anything he ever said made me uncomfortable to tell him.
We talked some more and soon I got up the courage to ask him about his username.
Was it something he just liked the sound of or was he an experienced Dom?
and once he told me he had been Doming since high school, has had several partners and knew exactly what he was doing, it was like he couldn’t get me to shut up. I had so many questions. He wasn’t the first person I had talked to about Doming and Subbing, but he was the most cooperative with someone my age at the time.

He answered every last one of my questions, even went as far as telling me things I didn’t even think to ask. DomDaddy was probably one of the coolest guys I ever knew and he gave a sheltered, insecure sixteen-year-old a confidence and knowledge that I’ll carry forever.

Sincerely,

A Curious Little Beasty