And now a crumpled and soupstained tree.
So I’ve been waking up the past few months. From a sleep. A deep one. One wrapping itself in the chaos of shallowness, like a tide that went out, left the pools fetid and rotting. And the tide has come back in, refreshing and full and roaring, but slow. One trickle at a time. One rememory at a time. Until I woke one day, full of grace, felt the touch of empathy. Devoured the taste of sweet in everything. Like a lion on a rose.
Where my sub-self, shadow self, once again works at his mahogany table while I sleep, a crafter, an architect, the dream-stapler, and I breathe his pixie sawdust when I wake after the deep swim.
I believe my book will be finished soon. I have until the 16th of January to finish it, and roughly 20k to write.
I had chronic rhinosinusitus. Have. And a nasal infection that has lasted more than a year, and only just recently found. “If this infection lasts more than 12 days, seek medical attention.” The bacterial infection has possibly eaten into my brain via “meningitis,” and I just spent the past two weeks taking heavy steroids, antifungal, and antibacterial medication. This infection has been allowed to exist at all due to an infected tooth that never showed signs of infection due to the infection existing beneath the gumline. The gumline has since receded to expose the bone, and made the situation worse. Also, fungal infections as complications to my head infection killed half my intestines’ gut bacteria where I was unable to process foods properly. This whole storm has created a reactionary wave that has left every part of my body at risk for infection. Luckily, I get the tooth removed on the 6th of January, and I get to continue recovering through the holidays (before the next semester begins).
Two ENTs who said I don’t need an X-ray (and figured my symptoms were stress induced), four specialists who said my sickness has nothing to do with the nasal cavity or face (and most likely stress induced), and finally an allergist who, on a whim, took an X-ray of my head. $20k dumped into this in the past year, and it was easily found, easily understood, and easily (enough) fixed. Tinnitus mostly removed. Carb reactions minimized. Regained my sense of smell and taste. Can think abstract thoughts again. Can read with depth again. Can cry at movies again.
I had a WONDERFUL Christmas, full of joy and happiness. I spent it with my parents and brothers. And I love them for it. A beautiful season when one has all their senses and mind with them. :)
Chris
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