File under "You can't make this shit up." in General

When I watch TV, I always have an index card and a pencil on the coffee table.

Mostly because if I don’t write it down, I will forget. Then it will pop back into my head at 3am two weeks later.

What follows is a list of shit I have actually heard reported on mainstream media.

1. Dr. Suess is racist.
2. Pumpkin Spice Lattes are racist (apparently a white girl phenomenon, personally I drink my coffee black.)
3. The national anthem is racist.
4. White girls wearing hoop earrings is racist. I personally like an attractive blonde with long hair wearing hoops. So I guess i;m racist.
5. Teaching math bolsters “white privilege.” Whatever the fuck that is.
6. Apparently there was a cartoon dark kernel of corn in a commercial for Corn pops pushing a broom. Racist.
7. The Rankin/Bass Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is racist and “otherist” whatever the fuck that means.
8. Trying too hard to not be racist is racist.
9. Knowingly spreading HIV in California is no longer a felony.

But.

1. You can go to jail for “misgendering” someone in California. Which means if I walk into the office in a dress with a cup of coffee, spill it, and the boss asks who spilled the coffee and a co-worker says “he did” while pointing at me. I can actually get someone arrested in California.

And no one is allowed to ask why a 6‘3” 250# man is wearing a dress.

1. Oh yeah. Did I mention the national anthem is racist?

I had shipmates who came home in a box covered with that flag. Colin Kaperdick can fuck himself.

What the fuck?

(Sorry. I needed to get that index card off my desk.)

Last updated December 20, 2017