Bleh. Screw You, Universe! in Ponderings of the Universe

I’m emotionally exhausted. All I want in life is like a year of complete and utter boredom, where no one I’m close to gets horrifically sick or dies.

My friend Kat has a mystery illness for several months. She has an infection that her body isn’t fighting and she’s been on numerous antibiotics. Her white cell count is the highest her doctor has ever seen. They’ve done test after test and not found out anything definite. Most recently, 2 masses have been found in her nasal cavity and thoughts seen to be that they might be a nidus for infection or cancer. She’s supposed to have a consult with a surgeon, have them out and analyzed. I hope it’s infection and getting them out will allow her body to heal. It’s a scary situation.

My second cousin was just diagnosed with stage IV pancreatic cancer after a year and a half of being unwell and seeking diagnosis. This is the same type of cancer my aunt (on the other side of my family) died from 4 years ago. In addition to feeling devastated for her and her immediate family, it’s also bringing some awful memories from when my aunt was sick. I feel angry and helpless.

My hair stylist just found out her beloved dog has GI lymphoma. He’s not doing well. She got me through chemotherapy without looking bizarre and I feel like I’ve been through a lot with her, so I would consider her a friend as well. She asks my advice and I wish I could tell her something positive. Last week I brought her some food samples for him since he hadn’t been eating well and she just broke down sobbing in my arms.

This morning, one of my technicians’ dogs got into a fight that left one dog dead. Her husband called her at work, frantic, their children screaming in the background. Just yesterday, we were making fun of her dog for how much a diva she was.

I miss Aaron. Grad school is a big, meanie, timesuck. I knew that, since vet school was a big, meanie, timesuck as well, but I feel like I’m not coping with it all too well.

I’m also not getting the down time my introvert self needs, what with more adulting and cooking and such. And, of course, with more adulting, comes a greater need for more down time. Catch 22.

I guess on a positive note, I had a male cat with a urethral obstruction (my third this month! It’s my new special) today and he was pretty easy to unblock, unlike my last two. Whee urinary catheters!