Woke up at something like 7.30, now its 9 when I have recently got up. Slept a total of some 10 or so hours. Still bleeding. Still not dead.
Ate fried eggs for the first time in months, not the best that I have ever had. Chips and potatoes.
Yesterday like the weirdest happened - there was something like blood in my belly button. I mean it looked reddish but it had a feeling of sweat. I don't know I'll have to google it or something. Googled it, it seems its nothing deadly.
Also it's cloudy. YAY! Not sunny any-more!
Today I started reading Flowers in the Attic by V.C. Andrews. I read 90 pages which amounts to 30% of the book, far more than I intended to read. About the book: the whole story seems simplistic and amateurish but I can't say that I don't enjoy. For all its flaws and sometimes outright stupidity it does poses that gravity that pulls you in and keeps you turning the pages. So I think I might enjoy this series.
I'm contemplating to perhaps add Darkly Dreaming Dexter to my reading list which already goes to September. The first review gave it 1/5, but maybe its not so bad after all.
Made broth with bread today. The broth tasted different somehow, not good at all. Now its 16.33 and I'm thinking whether to ask Iveta for chips. On one hand we're not exactly rolling in cash now but on the other I really want them. Winters really are not good to me, all my dedication to try and be good flies right out the window. But maybe nothing of it exists and I'm really just spoiled and awful instead of sick. I wish it was easier to do good things and the path wasn't so narrow.
So she came home at something like 18.30 or something and bought me the chips that I asked. Admittedly I did not savour the experience. I can't do anything right.
Ate potatoes. They were okay. So today being Monday there is nothing to watch on the TV. I thought about downloading some movie, but decided against it. I don't know I just feel kind of apathic today. So I don't know how I'll spend this evening. Also I feel kind of crappy that I didn't make anything for Iveta like I thought about yesterday and neither did I read the Bible. Perhaps when the spring come I'll be less depressed. Who am I kidding here spring will probably be hell on earth, like always. So I guess summer then. I remember that last summer I felt kind of good and really hopeful for a while. And then when the autumn came all that went away.
So it's nearly 20.00 and I'll soon turn the computer off. I feel like I'm waiting for things to get better but they never do. END OF ENTRY.
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