Blah, Blessings, and BS in Packrat

  • Sept. 14, 2017, 7:20 a.m.
  • |
  • Public

Blah. Just a general feeling of lethargy. I seem to have no motivation and drag myself to work, grateful for Fridays, dreading Mondays. I have work to do but no push to do it. It isn’t the job - I know I’ve said ad nauseam how much I love my job, and I do; I plan around my job or make a decision based on its impact on my job. That’s not always good. I ended up with a long hospital stay because I kept ignoring symptoms to keep working. I measure potential relationships against my job, asking myself which I’d rather have - the man or the job? Could I compromise, if I really like him, and cut down on the time I spend at my job? My job always wins out.
…I’m not burned out on my job - this blah feeling encompasses all. I may drag myself to work right now but I don’t want to stay home; I’m worthless there, too. I really think I just need a break so I don’t have to think about anyone else’s needs. I know this weekend means just one weekend away, but it’s one weekend away and I’ll be spending part of it with U2!

Blessings. U2! I have new batteries in my camera, a new photo card, and a new camera bag. I checked the settings yesterday. Even my mom commented that U2 and I might be staying under the same roof - I’ve thought that, too, but it shows she’s feeling better.
…Free Spirit had to evacuate last week and returns home today. He’s in South Carolina. A huge hurricane hit the east coast not long after we met nearly 25 years ago. He claimed that he watched it from his front porch because he knew my mother prayed for him; when I texted to see if he’s alright I asked, “You’re not watching THIS hurricane from your front porch, are you?”
…I’m glad my friends in Florida and my cousins in Houston survived - no damage to their homes but debris clean up.
…While my prayers went to everyone facing hurricanes I prayed fervently for those who stayed for their pets. I had been praying for the animals anyway, remembering Katrina, but before Irma hit a diarist here wrote that she was staying put because she had too many animals and no where to take them. That really hit home for me because I have too many animals as well; I remember the panic of gathering cats and dogs when told to evacuate before a fire raged through. I don’t follow her regularly and don’t remember her name, but she’s been in my prayers every day since. I keep seeing news stories about saved animals - Hemingway’s 54 cats, beached manatees, horses in the house, flamingos in an orderly line - and that gives me hope for all the other animals and the people who love them.
…I know many prayers have been said for everyone facing the hurricanes; seeing stories of rescues and saved homes makes me feel as if all our prayers linked together and held back
the worst.

…and the BS. Mainly the red tape and the mentality here. Wunderkind asked for one day off next week; her budget hearing was then scheduled for that day - without anyone sending out the schedules so we could sign up, as has been previously done; when she said she wouldn’t be here that day - just that one day - you’d have thought that Wunderkind alone caused the downfall of civilization as we know it.
…My budget - I already griped about that.
…My insides are still being checked out. I had gone to a specialist in late July who gave me lab orders that say, in big red stamped letters, that two weeks prior to my next appointment with her I need certain tests. My next appointment is in October, so I thought I heeded directions; another sheet said in small gray letters that I needed a test two weeks after my first appointment. Okay, I missed that unintentionally; I don’t know how many times I repeated (to the same doctor and nurse) how that happened. As soon as I explained - AGAIN - they’d say “but it says here…” as if my answer would change and somehow the natural course of the world would change with it. Even after my doctor could see how I made the mistake because he made the same mistake!!! He’s a nice man but he doesn’t seem to listen and he spends about five minutes with me when I have an appointment. I found out where my former doctor practices, and I’m considering going there; he explained everything - what my lab results meant, how my medicines help and interact. I really liked him.
…I’m considered exempt and salaried bur am treated as an hourly employee. I never worried about it, but right now some days are a struggle to get here and stay here to put in enough hours for a decent paycheck. I usually work hours after the offices close; I’ve been here to let in people locked out of their offices, to open the doors for committees who scheduled evening meetings but security forgot to leave the doors unlocked, to keep the building open when we have special exhibits or activities. I don’t claim hours over 40 each week because no one makes me stay, and being exempt means I’m supposed to get paid for 40 a week, period. That goes both ways; I’m supposed to be getting a flat salary even if I work only an hour a week, as long as I get the job done, but that isn’t happening. No wonder I’m blah.
…But the closer I get to Saturday the more I stir inside!!!


NorthernSeeker September 15, 2017

Too many people want a piece of you and you are working too hard. I think the weekend away will really give you a good break.

Deleted user September 15, 2017

You are stressed out. You should they pay you as they contracted for and maybe take more time for yourself ...
I also constantly worry about animals .especially in disasters .

Oswego September 16, 2017

Very excited for you about the upcoming U2 concert. I think that's the break you need.

I love to read about tiur devotion to animals and your prayers for them.

ConnieK September 17, 2017

I think Wunderkind is part of your "blahs". Fight for your pay and make YOU a priority. I haven't heard any stories of loose pets this time. Your doctor sounds like he doesn't like to be wrong. I'd go back to the old doc.

You must be logged in to comment. Please sign in or join Prosebox to leave a comment.