30 in Contusions.

And I have no idea what I am doing.

I’ve spent my whole life chasing a dream of “really living”, and I did so much of that in my 20s. But maybe achieving my goal scared me? Or rather I reached a ceiling and now I’m just jaded.

Is it weird that I’ve already accomplished everything I thought I wanted? And now I’m terrified to set a new goal for myself? I live in fear of everything. Fear of people, fear of going outside, fear of rejection, conversation, isolation, crowds, loud noises, silence…

Fuck.

I just feel so fuuucked.

Last updated May 21, 2018