Confession in The Thoughts in my Head

I did something bad; something I never thought I would be capable to do. I have this ex who broke up with me, went and slept with my friend/roommate at the time. Then like a week later he came back and asked if he could have both. He wanted his cake and eat it to. I’ve been really struggling with this. It has been over a year, yet anytime I see the girl I get so mad I wanna punch something. I am a very nice person, I always give people the benefit of the doubt, always see the good and ignore all the bad. So the fact that I wanna punch this girl means this has really destroyed me.

I have since hung out with the ex…dumb mistake. It’s said that once you fall IN love with someone you never truly fall OUT of love you just learn to live with the hurt and grieving. I guess I’m still learning how to live with all this hurt. Anyway, I have hung out with this ex way too many times.

I started dating a guy at the end of the school year last year…he was worse than this ex. It ended cause he found out I was talking to the ex…like “how are you” “how’s the family” nothing that was flirty. Well he got mad…with every reason to be. But he was drunk when he found out so he was drunk and mad. He then started calling me whore, slut, liar, all these mean names. Which I am a liar. So I took a break from boys for the rest of summer.

(Hold tight, I haven’t gotten to the horrible thing I did yet)

I get back to school and the first thing I do is run to the ex who left me for my friend. I went over to his house, he had a friend over. This friend was really cute. It seemed like this friend was flirtin with me. So the next day I added his friend on Facebook. Then a couple of days later, I was drinking, and decided it was a good idea to message this guy. Well then he starts getting a little frisky…so I responded with friskiness as well. Well this friend showed the ex all the messages. It then became a huge fight.

I’m not like my friend who did this....I have felt like crap about this since it happened. I used to be the good girl, the girl that always puts everyones feelings before my own. I don’t know who I’ve become....but I know I do not like her.