Transitional feelings. in 2017

Joaquin graduated from preschool on Friday, and he starts elementary school in a few days. He just joined his first legit soccer team and has his first game in less than a week. I’m having so many feelings about theses transitions, and I’m processing bit by bit.

I’m excited for a new school, new friends, new teammates and coaches, and new teachers. I can’t wait to see what kind of things he decides to put his energy towards, and I can’t wait to see where he excels. I’m intrigued to find out where he struggles or lacks energy, which will start to present some new and interesting parenting dynamics.

The constant push and pull of what we visualize for our kids, and what they visualize for themselves. It’s admittedly hard to remove bias; to remove what WE want from what they want. There’s also the desire to provide for them what we didn’t have for ourselves, or wished our parents would have done for us. But if we go too far or give them too much, they lack the perspective and appreciation that comes with NOT HAVING ALL THE THINGS. But to deny them that, feels like we are failing them, somehow.

I try, very hard, to stay open and to stay unbiased. But I want him to participate in sports, and I want him to be excel in academics. I want him to find his own passions, but I’m nudging him towards the things that I think he would like or that I would like him to like. It’s hard to separate what I want for him vs. what he wants for himself. So I try to stay open and I listen…

It’s the beginning of a big year of new things. And I’m delighted with the little man he is right now, so I’m trying to just live in the moments of the present. And I want to remember and freeze him just like he is right.now, because he’s a special dude, and I’m the proudest mama.