Is marijuana addictive? in Buy a Ticket, Take a Ride

I am still thinking about addiction. Essential to the concept of addiction is the difference between "wanting" and "liking". Biologically, wanting anticipates reward and motivates instrumental behaviors, liking is the enjoyment that occurs when you get what you want. Liking is supposed to be the conclusion of wanting. Tragically, anything you want can become an addiction, but this is not as true for anything you like.

In the process of substance dependance, which always involve promoting a more dopamine (therefore dopamine is specifically implicated as a chemical of wanting, but serotonin is also important), the brain may change, and ultimately may end up motivating a persistent pursuit of drugs we no longer like.

I imagine a lot of other self-destructive and not necessarily drug related behaviors follow the same pattern. I don't know how much I like most of the things I want. For example, I was a World of Warcraft addict, but I know I was easily discouraged from playing it, and had to work at making myself continue. A lot of people are addicted to World of Warcraft instantly, but I am actually not. I wanted a maximum level character, I wanted the accomplishment, and I thought I would like the end of the game more than the beginning. I did like the end of the game more, so wanting was not so misleading, however I feel like most of what I want is not even as rewarding as World of Warcraft.

This is possibly because I am less able to force myself to pursue what I do not like, it could also mean that I don't actually like anything. I have assumed that the former has been my problem the whole time, this is the message that I kept getting, that I could not apply myself to anything. I am beginning to accept that the force of the latter is underestimated. For example, I didn't like movies, until I met my husband who is a film snob and taught me about more obscure movies that I found to be more likeable.

Despite knowing much more about what video entertainment I like, I still don't want it very much. I am often reluctant to watch what I like and it is my husband who compels me, sometimes begs me to do things with him. He doesn't like to be alone ever. This is probably good for me, maybe not so good for my husband and his acceptance issues.

I want to be on the computer all the time, specifically surfing the web, even if I don't like it. (I have liked the internet a lot less since it has become more popular.) I have recognized that wanting the computer all of the time is very depressing. Often, the computer makes me noticeably irritable and causes anxiety while I am tripping, so I might wonder if it makes me less noticeably irritable and anxious without the influence. Most of this constant writing about and studying of drugs actually has to do with something that I like to do while I am stuck to my computer all of the time.

I have this problem, Borderline Personality Disorder, it's very complicated, but when people around me have strong wants and desires it is especially hard for me not to want exactly what they want. I guess the upshot of BPD is that I am so delusional about my identity and what I want that this is somewhat unpretentious, I actually like things because other people want them. (but this did not apply to movies, I hated them enough not to want them when other people wanted them) Since I am so poor at pursuing my own wants and desires, I tend to think I don't know what I want, but maybe I am overly dependent on others to tell me what to like, or more likely, how to like.

I have an interesting relationship with marijuana. I think it's most important function is as an anti-depressant, it is not at all like taking an actual anti-depressant, more of a therapeutic experience that grants insight and perspective, the habit is more like seeing a therapist than swallowing pills in the morning.

Obviously, obviously, obviously marijuana is a positive influence, I am much more aware of what I actually like, much less distracted by what I want. I can often use marijuana to change activities, although I can't reliably change to something like doing the dishes like I hoped, while on marijuana there is a 50/50 chance I will go back to the computer instead of a 100% chance.

The sad thing about my husband is I really don't think he has a clue what it feels like to not like anything. He likes leveling characters in World of Warcraft, you know? Obviously, a lot of people are just sucked into that shit. And I have to go, "well, obviously this is a well received product, I must attempt to adapt to it," and I have been rewarded by adapting to really like things like World of Warcraft.

Marijuana must do this to everyone to some extent, specifically in the form of food or music. Food always tastes better when high, so much better. I do not think it is an appetite enhancement so much as it is a likeability enhancement.

I do not crave marijuana at all. I started taking it more seriously because, when we ran out of marijuana, I would say that my husband craved marijuana on my behalf. He tried to get me drunk, and he was really butt-hurt when I was fickle about getting drunk. At the time, he said marijuana made me less irritable. I think, shortly before this time, I was on the best marijuana I ever had in my life.

I thought I had a lot to learn from being high, but although I like being high a lot, I didn't want it enough to do it more than a few times a week. How did I get into a habit of smoking more frequently? I replaced food with pot.

You see, when it comes to any drug, it's easier to get high on an empty stomach. My stomach is often empty, because my appetite is difficult to deal with. I am realizing that many of my problems come from not enough food or not enough good food. I am kind of like a tiger, tigers need 16 pounds of fresh meat daily to survive. I need so much food, but I am lazy, so I just go hungry, and that makes me the most irritable. It also makes me feel sick. Because marijuana kills sickness, I use it as an appetite suppressant far more than a food likeability enhancement. Although, I use it as an appetite enhancement also, obviously it is easier to eat all the food I need when it is so much more likeable.

Anyway, my point is, the incentive of avoiding hunger, sickness and pain is was the most effective way to turn marijuana into a nearly daily habit. Preparing pot is a bit of work, smoking is a lot more work than other drugs, where I just take pills. But it is less work than cooking.

I do not know if this is actually a reliable indication of a good drug, or a good drug habit, but marijuana seems like it is good for me because when it comes to food, no matter what I want to do, if I want to avoid preparing food or I want to be more excited about eating food, marijuana helps.

Unfortunately, I think marijuana cannot actually replace food. Part of my problem being productive on marijuana might be because I am too hungry to do anything. Ecstasy is a profoundly physical stimulant, that's why people use it to dance, that's why people can dance themselves to death, but I have been too hungry to be active on ecstasy. (I had a brilliant nap, though. It is crazy that I have napped on ecstasy. It was definitely working at the time. I was on LSD too, maybe that helped me sleep.)

Marijuana is important to me, but I guess it is not addictive. I have tried and failed to be addicted to it. So how do I feel about being forced to take a tolerance break? I have a lot of mixed feelings. Tolerance breaks are good in general, I often do them voluntarily. My biggest problem is a problem with being told what to do.

My other fear is how long this will last, it is not a big deal, but I know the longer I go without, the harder it becomes to go without. This is another weird thing about my relationship with marijuana, the strange timing of withdraw symptoms.

Is marijuana addictive? This is an interesting question. So, my therapist said I am not an addict, and I said if I am addicted to something it is marijuana. I cannot imagine who I would be without it, and almost every other drug that is important to me, it is most important while combined with marijuana. (Except for ecstasy.) But, turning marijuana into a daily habit is difficult.

Recently, a group of Italian researchers succeeded in demonstrating that THC releases dopamine along the reward pathway, like all other drugs of abuse.

Marijuana is a bit of a mystery. We do not know a lot about it. Only recently have we found that it does indeed support dopamine, so it seems like it would inevitably be addictive to some degree. I have done other living drugs like mushrooms and peyote, but somehow these are much less complex and more understood than marijuana. Marijuana is total accident of nature that can only be guided but not created by human beings. We can make THC in a lab, but obviously this is not the same as real marijuana. All we knew about marijuana, really, was that it never kills anyone, unlike something like alcohol that will eventually poison you.

Experienced users report that the effect of synthesized THC is more like a 5mg. Valium than a joint of marijuana. Like Herkenham’s monkeys, regular marijuana users don’t much care for strong synthetic THC, either. They basically just get knocked down by it.

Marijuana has been legal in other countries, but medicinal marijuana in the United States is special, because the US has a unique impact on medical research. We are the biggest consumer of drugs in the world, so more Americans buying pot means more scientific research in a way that more Norwegians buying pot can't accomplish. Therefore, one of the important reasons why marijuana needs to be legal is also an appeal to American exceptionalism. Remember that when arguing with conservative friends.

So there is new information about marijuana, too.

There was a specific receptor in the brain for THC, the active ingredient in marijuana. Once they went looking for it, the NIMH scientists found the new receptor in all kinds of mammalian brains. The NIMH researchers were struck by the relative density of cannabinoid receptors in the cerebral cortex, and the relative lack of the same receptors in the limbic system. Marijuana use, of itself, very rarely causes the kind of violent limbic explosions associated with abuse of alcohol, cocaine, and amphetamine. In a sense, marijuana is a thinking drug. The receptor for THC, which is heavily distributed in the cerebral cortex, is “a very unique receptor,” as Herkenham described it. “Sort of a high-brow receptor.”

Ha, ha. Well, maybe liking has a lot to do with thinking. I am sure whatever it is that marijuana gives me, it has to do with a kind of intelligence I just don't have much of. I am sure that in this way, I am less than adequate compared to a normal person. Maybe marijuana is not the only way to learn about what I don't have, but it was the first way, and if I never did marijuana, I would not have even known that I was lacking so much.

Regardless, as an addictive substance, it cannot be compared to anything else. But, if you are addicted to thinking too much, maybe you are vulnerable to pot addiction.

Research is just begining to confirm that marijuana withdraw exists, here are some descriptions of what it feels like It seems like for a minority of regular pot users, maybe less than 10%, there are actual physical withdraw symptoms when abstinence is attempted, symptoms like hot flashes and fatigue. Of these, I have experienced almost none.

What has emerged in the past ten years is a profile of marijuana withdrawal, where none existed before. The syndrome is marked by irritability, restlessness, generalized anxiety, hostility, depression, difficulty sleeping, excessive sweating, loose stools, loss of appetite, and a general “blah” feeling. Many patients complain of feeling like they have a low-grade flu, and they describe a psychological state of existential uncertainty—“inner unrest,” as one researcher calls it.

But most symptoms are slippery, like anxiety, loss of appetite, not necessarily caused by a very addictive substance, maybe you are just sad because you miss pot. This is why the question of addictiveness is so confusing.

The withdrawal rigors of, say, alcohol or heroin tend to drown out the subtler, more psychological manifestations of cannabis withdrawal.

Interestingly, excessive dreams are a part of withdraw...

I know the half-life of marijuana is slipping, and I wonder if that doesn't have to do with odd timing of withdraw. Marijuana suppresses REM sleep, dreaming sleep, and last night, I had a vivid dream. Now, before I did marijuana, I did not have very many vivid dreams. But I experienced this before-- during withdraw, I start getting dreams. Guanfacine also suppresses REM sleep, I went on that, and stopped having dark dreams or nightmares. My nightmares are pretty lame, but they do cause some anxiety.

Moving on...

Nonetheless, even fruit flies appear to have a few cannabinoid receptors. The same THC receptor has been discovered in fish and sea urchins as well, leaving researchers to puzzle over the evolutionary role played by this ancient psychoactive substance. Of what use is a THC receptor to a chicken or a trout? “This... gene must have been present early in evolution,” a paper from Toronto’s Addiction Research Foundation attests, “and its conservation implies that the receptor serves an important biological function.” Or, as a researcher at the University of California, San Francisco summed it up: “Why would we express the receptor at high levels if it just made us stupid?”

Yes, very much yes. I am learning that although marijuana hurts some specific skills temporarily, it definitely does not make me stupid.

Good news everyone! As I am writing this,my husband wakes up from a nap and initiates a conversation where he has thought of new things, and has hesitantly said we might be able to start doing drugs again, so that discussion is happening now, and I imagine it could still go either way but the direction suggests that this will end well for me.

Unfortunately this power struggle has caused a lot of anxiety, not just against my husband, but having to do with the nature of my dependance on drugs, what it means. Before, he had told me that we could continue to smoke socially, so I was not as frightened because I would occasionally get to smoke during the break, possibly minimally adequate to provide a minimum of the insight I need. So, the fear is more abstract than what would have happened in this specific circumstance. I have been significantly depressed and anxious since we ran out of the pot before, and this has not gone away. The lack of consistency and control over a fucked up situation-- he wanted us to break because of the legal risk, he felt like I was risking exposing us to that-- it makes him feel justified telling me what to do, when he normally would not feel entitled, he does in this case, because it is illegal. It is not cool, what the law does, it is impossible to anticipate these consequences when I first started on drugs. How could I have imagined that this could be so important, that withdraw would be so strange, that illegal drugs are the one thing that my husband could feel totally entitled to tell me what to do?

Last updated January 30, 2014