Brain Puke 06.24 in Daily Ranting

Happy Saturday! My time is 8:07pm as I start this. I seem to lose track of time quite often these days. I’m trying to get myself out of this funk I’m in. Sorta fun fact about me, I am TERRRRRIFIED of prescription drugs. If I can suck up the pain and refuse medications for those types of things I would. Lately, I have been hesitant to go to my doctor for three reasons. 1- I don’t even have money for the dollar menu at restaurants, there is no way in hell I’ll be able to afford a doctor’s visit. 2- I don’t have insurance. My insurance dropped my plan for lack of payment which I’m kind of glad because again-I can’t afford it. I mean, I still have to pay what’s due but I’ve talked to them and as long as I make minimum payments every few months they won’t send me to collections. and lastly, 3- I don’t want to be diagnosed with depression or anything because of my fear of prescription drugs and/or not being able to afford them/counseling. Although I was going to school for psychiatry, I believe in mind over matter. I feel like intense therapy may help, but only in critical situations will I opt for medication. That’s just my opinion, I wouldn’t be comfortable making a living off of stuffing (hypothetical) patients with pills to make my job easier. But anyway.

This morning I woke up and sat down with a coffee cup of water (the struggle, amirite), my computer and a notebook. I was determined to find a job. Or at least apply to several of them. This morning, I applied to several Sephora’s for cashier and stock recovery associate, and several Macy’s stores. In total I submitted 12 applications. Five of them were for two different Sephora locations in either position and the other seven applications were for four different Macy’s locations in different departments. At this point I don’t really mind the distance, I’m just in desperate need of a job and hopefully if I find a job sometime soon, it’ll help take my mind off of the things I’m going through at the moment. I really do hope I find something soon. There were a few shops online that were hiring but asked to apply in store. I went to two of them but in the first one the hiring manager wasn’t there and wasn’t going to be back until Monday and the other shop I went to is closed until Tuesday.

I came here because a few minutes ago I got my first rejection e-mail. It was from one of the Sephora’s I applied to. I’m going to try my best and not get discouraged from the first rejection. It’s only one of the twelve I submitted. Someone please please please send me good thoughts so I find a job soon. I’d say prayers too, but those seem to fly right past my head.

It’s now 8:27pm.
I hope everyone is having a good weekend.
-x