Dredging up the past. in Life's missed happenings.

With the end of OD, it has made me think about the past. I first started there when I was 16. It was around the summer of 2000. My best friend had a diary on there. I didn't think too much about it. I did it to communicate with her. I had already been keeping a journal, for several years by that time. Even when our friendship ended, I kept OD. It didn't matter if she was there or not. I had grown to love it. I could express myself and not be judged. OD was the first place I was accepted for being myself. A lonely gay male from rural Oklahoma. I didn't know of any other gays. I just knew of the "curious." I had never been accepted by anyone. Yes, my family accepted me for the most part. I was and still am lucky in that part. I just needed someone not related to me, to understand who I was. I found that many of times on there. I am so very grateful to OD for giving me that experience. Not only that, but all the people that it brought into my life.

I still remember the first person from OD I met. I was 16, still had my driver's permit. We set up a time to meet. A town that was a little over an hour away. So I borrowed my sister's car and loaded up my cousin. We drove south for what seemed like forever. I had never met anyone off of the internet before. It was scary, but exciting. We had been chatting for a long time for what it seemed. All I knew about him was he was several years older than me, in college, Native, and very much an alcoholic. He seemed super rad to me. I was nervous as fuck to meet him, djjohnnyquest.

He definitely wasn't what I expected. A guy about 4 inches taller than me and a little bit more flamboyant than myself. He was crazy! In the good way. It was very much a stable in my growing up. He was the first gay friend I had. I still talk to him occasionally. Our relationship has changed, just like most friendships do. Just like life does.

All the other OD members I have met, have made just as much of an impact as well.

There is one, that I regret not following through with. He is no longer with us. It saddens me that his words will be lost forever. His memories will live on through everyone that read him, but it still doesn't seem right.

Again, thanks OD for being such a big part of my life. It is now time to start a new. Hopefully this will fill the void that you have left.