Interview and stuff in Public

That half time position that I was offered an interview for, and asked for a different day was filled. They never even answered my request on their interview form for a different day. This was the one that wanted me to interview the next day. There were only 3 days left of school and I just didn’t feel comfortable taking off. Maybe I would have if it were for a full time position.

I did get a call today for a junior high science position. I interview Thursday morning. This one is full time. I’m really torn, a part of me wants to teach junior high again ( I taught science for four years before I quit when my youngest son was born) because the planning is so much easier. It’s basically one lesson a day that you teach five or so times. Or maybe two lessons if you are teaching grades or subjects. Fifth grade was the same kids all day, all subjects. I kind of like junior high because you have them for 45 minutes, so if someone is having a bad day, they move on. But, on the other hand, I felt way closer and got to know my students way better this year because I had them all day. When I was teaching 8th grade, I always felt like there were some students I didn’t get a chance to know on an individual level. I’m also not sure I want to deal with the junior high attitudes. I’m just a worrier. It’s not even like I have the job. I would probably take it if offered so I don’t have to worry. This job, because of the district will also pay less than I was making before. I was in one of the higher paying districts in the county before. I’d love to be in a position to actually have a choice. Ugh, I just really wish Hubby would have his shit together so I didn’t have to stress so much.

I applied for unemployment today too. I know they will deny me because technically I resigned, but only because I got a certified letter saying that I was not renewed for next school year. Everyone I talk to says I will have to go to a meeting, show them that letter and tell them that if you are not renewed you have to resign or your chances of getting another teaching job are way lower.

I’m hesitant to talk about specifics on here, I don’t want to put him down, because he really is a great guy. I’m also not sure how he would feel if I put his/our personal stuff on here. I will say this, we found out some bad news today that may result in his not getting the job he is supposed to start on Wednesday.

I just feel like we keep getting slapped with bad news, and I’d really like something to work out for us. I just feel like nothing in my life has ever came easily. I don’t know, maybe I just make bad choices. Or maybe it’s that people show you what they want you to see. I know you shouldn’t judge people by what they post on face book, but I can’t help it. I see people I went to high school with and they seem to have it all, posting about giant houses, cars, trips, night out etc. I know it’s not right, but sometimes, I can’t help but think, why not me? I’ve had to fight and work for everything I have. Nothing ever works out for me. I feel bad even writing that, because I know I have more than most. I have food (too much) in my belly, a roof over my head, and my kids. I know some people have lost so much. I just don’t want to struggle again.

Not pregnant btw, I had mentioned being late a while ago, still no period, but I took a test today and it was negative. I think it’s just because I’m 41 and my body is starting to freak out, and I’ve been really stressed lately.

Also want to mention that Hubby and I have been fighting a lot lately. He thinks I’ve been talking to my ex too much. We (ex and I) have a 9 year old together. We were talking about summer clothes and his school registration and doctors appointments. My son is on the autism spectrum and is going to a new doctor tomorrow. When my ex came to pick up my son today he text and asked if I could come out and talk a minute. I asked hubby if it was going to be a problem and he said no. So I went out and talked to him, i guess in Hubby’s opinion I was out there to long because he was mad, but he quickly got over it. I guess I’m talking about our personal stuff on here anyways.

One day, I’ll tell my whole story.

I know this entry is all over the place, but that is how my mind is right now, it’s like I have a million thoughts all going on at the same time.

Last updated June 05, 2017