Today I felt so lost! Felt like I am losing control on my own life. I generally don’t care if things happen as they do. But, when things don’t happen my way- I either accept it as it and feel it is for the best or I didn’t need it or make sure it happens for me. The latter is very uncommon. But today the series of events that happened, have just made me soo furious! I want to go fight. But I feel insecure because what if things don’t go my way, I will end up regret taking it up. I need to be more confident. No let them overpower me. What will they say, throw college politics at me. Let them. I just want to let them know what is happening and it is not right. I need them to follow a process with no exceptions. They did not make an exception for me, then why today. I just need to be brave and let them know! Be it for intex or be it a drop, they need to understand the same process is for everyone.
With this comes the unmotivated life. I have always want to achieve something in life. But things get bring after a while and I lose interest. I have to find the key to keep it going. I need to work towards what I want. I wanted to do an MBA, then why am I know doubting my decisions. I need to take the responsibility and start working hard. I need to do this not to prove to other people but to prove to myself. Other people are never satisfied. I need to get a reality check and work for the placements and actually understand the various subjects. Sitting and wasting time on laptop won’t work. I need to clear my head and see my goal. Leading a good life and do something interesting. For that I need to work hard now to have the choice later in life. Later I can’t simply complain that things didn’t work out. Remember, this is not for competing with others but simply for what I want in life. And what I want is a good life! So, I need to work for it. Make a schedule and stick to it.
And then there is this guy. What do I want from him or actually what does he want from me. He is confusing me. I message him, he replies but does not have a conversation. I feel he does not want to. But then, in the night texts me wondering where am I busy- studying or what. Then compliments me.. Why.. I don’t do compliments! Am I actually that innocent? Anyways, he wants to meet again on Saturday… But I have classes on sat and sun.. I am agreeing to meet him, so, I am assuming I do want to meet him. Let’s see. Can’t seem to get him or myself. The last one was too needy or too eager but this one is a little too complacent. Wonder- what is my type! :O
Loading comments...