happy to insecure in the blink of an eye in Everyday fluff

I wish I knew why this happens to me. This morning I was feeling super great and now I feel very insecure over something stupid. I had to go on the computer to do my taxes and noticed that the Google history has been erased. Why would my bf erase it if there was nothing to hide? I can't ask him about it because he'll just give me some silly reason that passes as valid. He treats me very well, he never gets random calls or texts. But something inside of me is making feel like he's being deceptive about who he communicates with. And I can't ever possibly know in this age of technology. I hate feeling like this. He takes very good care of me. Hes very loving always says kind words and hugs me. He works hard and pays for me to go to college and he doesn't want me to work. Just do good in school. Am I being paranoid? I have no physical evidence, nor will I ever because we all get clever when it come to our privacy. I want to ask him about the erased history so bad but I don't want to ruin his day. He works hard so we can have nice things and go on nice vacations. Should I leave this alone or should I say something? I know I'm very insecure and im trying to get over it, but when I notice little things, my gut screams. Im so confused. He tells me we are gonna get married. We've been together for four years and it's not happening. I've never been married. Thing only thing I want is to get married by the time im 40. And I don't feel like that's gonna happen. I'll be 39 this year. Again, I'm so confused. I bring up getting married and again I think he's just telling me what I wanna hear. I know he loves me and I've never loved anyone more than I love this man. But, then again im a head case so im really not sure what love is.