I guess I'm kinda boring, but so what? ;o) in A New Beginning

I get hardly any notes here compared to when I wrote on Open Diary or compared to my posts on Facebook. But I value the few friends I do have here, and not getting many notes doesn’t bother me like it would’ve in the past. I am just writing for myself, but happy a few people are interested in me. :o) I guess I AM kinda boring in my older age, but I don’t really care! Sometimes a fairly boring life is a carefree life! :o)

Our newest co-worker, Sandy (not my sister Sandy), is 55. She was saying the other day that she just dreads the thought of getting old. She was like, “In five years I’m going to be SIXTY!! That’s AWFUL!!”

I told her, “Shoot, I’m gonna be sixty on my next birthday and I think it’s GREAT!” I did NOT say, but I thought, “And you’d better stop dreading the thought of getting old, because you’re 55. You’re never going to get any younger!”

But I’ll admit, there was a time when I, too, dreaded getting old. That was a long time ago, though, when I was in my late thirties. I was dying my hair; I had lost a lot of weight; I had a very active sex life and I really based my self-image on being attractive and sexual. I couldn’t think of a single thing about being “old” that seemed even slightly desirable! In my mind, old women all had those short curly old-lady-perms, and they wore orthopedic shoes and cotton housedresses. That was how my Grandmom had been; she was in her seventies and early eighties; don’t we think of our grandparents when we think of “old”?

But lots of things have happened since then, and life does teach us things. Both my Mom and Brother, as well as Brother’s partner, never got to become old. I took care of my Brother when he was dying of cancer at age 55. “The only thing I regret is that I won’t get to be an old man,” he told me wistfully, adding, “I would’ve been a good one.” I was only 21 when Mom died at age 58. She didn’t talk to me about how she felt about dying. But I wonder if she felt the same way Brother felt?

Now I see that becoming old is an adventure. Not everything is good! But it all keeps you thinking, keeps you problem-solving, keeps change coming into your life so you don’t just stagnate. There’s the saying, “Old age is not for sissies.” No it isn’t! It sure doesn’t test....one’s mettle, one’s sense of humor, one’s adaptability, etc.

Today at work Sandy said, “I have developed a really big mouth since I’ve grown older. A lot of things that I say now, I used to not say.” Me too! I used to put up with all kinds of crap from people when I was younger. At jobs especially, I used to really get dumped on. NOT ANYMORE! I’m still not a rude person, but I stand up for myself! I like to work, but I’ll just be damned if I’m gonna let people treat me like shit on the job. And a lot of people will try to; for some people, that just seems to be their nature.

I sure am glad I get the summers off, because work is getting on my nerves lately even though I haven’t really been having to bust my ass there much. Mostly, I just get tired of a lot of the stupid-assery of MY CO-WORKERS. I am staying away from my coven for the same reason....tired of their stupid-assery. Who needs it?? Used to be, I put up with that because of how important it was to me to be INCLUDED. Now I don’t give a flyin’ rat’s ass about being included, if what goes on is going to be a lot of stupid-assery. My life is plenty full without all that!

So that is my story for today, and you can bet I am sticking to it. ;o)