There are some very cool things happening in my life on all fronts right now, but the one I want to talk about today (because I have a meeting about it tomorrow and need to get my head clear) is my career.
Since the election back in November, like so many of us, I have had a fire under my ass. To do something about this crazy world we live in; perhaps more than anything, to help myself feel like I’m contributing to growth in the right direction rather than the opposite. How that is manifesting is really interesting, and I’m pretty excited about it.
For most of my adult life, I’ve been pretty uncertain about my career, but comfortable with the uncertainty. At this point, I have a CV of jobs and experiences that have been chock full of variety and adventure, challenge and stretching. I have had a few that were completely wrong for me (but very temporary) and many that I have really liked, but only a few that have completely ignited my fire. All along the way, I’ve really tried to pay attention. As a result, I’ve done pretty well with understanding what elements of the work I have done do that magic fire thing. Those things include:
-teaching. I fucking love watching that light come on. I love the exchange of knowledge and experiences. I love more than anything: when I get to share something with someone that has REALLY helped me grow and learn, heal and live better, and THEN, watching them receive it, digest it, and get excited about the way it allows them to see a challenge they have been facing in a new way. It’s like the thing they have been viewing as a problem, as suffering, suddenly looks like an opportunity. It is fucking magical. And it feels like I really am making a difference. You might gather from this description that I’m not really talking about teaching English, though that was fun in it’s own way. This leads me to the second thing.
-supporting people on their journey. This is a tricky one, because I struggle to understand at times the balance between being an “expert” and maintaining healthy humility. However, when that balance is right on, it’s such a beautiful thing to walk beside someone and help light their path. It’s a natural pathway from here to teaching. Of course, if someone is a skilled teacher, these things are one in the same.
-reflecting to others their own light. their own worth. Thomas Merton comes to mind:
“In Louisville, at the corner of Fourth and Walnut, in the center of the shopping district, I was suddenly overwhelmed with the realization that I loved all those people, that they were mine and I theirs, that we could not be alien to one another even though we were total strangers. It was like waking from a dream of separateness, of spurious self-isolation in a special world, the world of renunciation and supposed holiness… This sense of liberation from an illusory difference was such a relief and such a joy to me that I almost laughed out loud… I have the immense joy of being man, a member of a race in which God Himself became incarnate. As if the sorrows and stupidities of the human condition could overwhelm me, now I realize what we all are. And if only everybody could realize this! But it cannot be explained. There is no way of telling people that they are all walking around shining like the sun.”
True, you can’t tell people how they shine, but sometimes, you can reflect their light. And sometimes, you can give them tools for discovering their own brilliance. The times when I have had the privilege of playing this role (professionally or in personal relationships), it has given me so much energy and delight, so much grace and gratitude! And of course, it has taught me more than I can begin to describe. …about human resilience and possibility, my own gifts and strengths, what I have to offer… it goes on.
So those are the big three. I have spent a good few years paying attention and pondering in and around, up and down, over how to make a career out of these things. I have asked myself so many questions and played out so many hypotheticals in my mind’s eye. Should I be a life coach? A healer? Return to being a mental health worker? Become a social worker? A counselor? All of these options and more seemed viable, but not quite right.
Then the election. And something in my wise unknowing no-soul brought me something from the cracks in my memory. Nonviolent Communication. At first it was that I knew it was time for me to finally buckle down and take a long term course. I needed to change the world by changing myself. You can only save yourself after all, right? But fast forward 6 months to now, and I have come to realize–I want this to be my path. I don’t know how to do it, but I tell you, put something out into the universe, open your heart to it with intention, and just see what happens, I dare you.
I have since gotten a community based group started with a fantastic trainer of 20 years (Kathy Marchant) working with us, and also have brought it into my workplace with another trainer of 30 years (Bob Ward). Both of these people worked and trained with Marshall Rosenberg himself, and both are teaching me and the people around me SO much. Not only that, but I’m project managing the trainings happening at my workplace, and my work is going to pay for the 12 week training I’m taking from the other trainer in the community. Tomorrow Bob and I are meeting to discuss my future and my path. Bob is mentoring me and offering to help me find the pathway to this career. I can hardly believe the way these opportunities have manifested in my life.
So, as there are many directions I could possibly take, the big questions Bob set to me to ponder before this meeting are these:
-What arena do I want to play in?
-Then, what skills/bucket of skills do I need to have, including some I might not want to know?
-Try to take an imaginary tour of where I could go, avenues of experience and skills.
-who must say yes?
-who must not say no?
-who can influence both?
It is getting late and I need to get up and do good work tomorrow, so I’ll just start with the first one. I know I love working with teenagers, and I have in my heart such a passion for the most at risk populations in particular. However, I also know to be effective with those kids, you need to have a relationship and a rapport. Additionally, I know my heart and that I am prone to burnout with these kids. So I am feeling what I’d love to do is to teach the people who work with kids. Middle school and high school teachers. Foster parents. Mental health workers.
Can you imagine? Providers being well versed in NVC, who are working with the kids who need love and peace more than anything? The more I think about that, the more I like the idea. I have to stop for now. But I’m onto something here! I am so excited to begin! I just heard from Kathy TODAY that the training will begin in June. I’m ready.
Loading comments...