Dotting "i's" and Crossing "t's" in Day by Day

I see online journaling as an interactive experience: we write, others respond, we weigh that response and either employ it or reject it. I’m always a bit taken aback by people who take offense because I commented. Why leave a notes section if you don’t want to hear honest feedback? Or at least announce your preference, as in “if you disagree, please don’t comment”. But deleting my comment or even worse, unfriending me, because I didn’t 110% agree with your viewpoint on anything and everything just reveals your true nature: controlling. And that puts you in a new category: outer fringes. YOU may enjoy your head games, but I find them tiring, boring, and a complete waste of my time.

My younger brother continues to struggle. My SIL flew his son home (he teaches surfing in Hawaii) so the cousins are bonding. They did a lung biopsy but haven’t heard from SIL yet today to hear results. It’s NOT an infection, so cancer is the most likely scenario at this point. All of our mutual friends call me with doctor referrals and medical advice (even though they’re not in the medical field) as if he’s my child or my spouse. I know they mean well, but I am not the person who makes the decisions on my brother’s health. That is my SIL’s and his son’s job. I try to be patient but I wish people knew how draining it is to listen to a 20 minute explanation of how Dr. XYZ cured an aunt’s shoulder issues and the caller is positive that Dr. XYZ can help my brother, too.

I don’t bother to point out that my brother’s problem is not in his shoulder or that we’ve had dozens of doctor recommendations or that they are not medical experts or that I am not making the medical decisions or that I’ve had 6 similar recommendations that day or that their long-winded phone call means my SIL can’t get through. They mean well, so I can’t bite their heads off, but geez, I wish people would think beyond themselves occasionally.

It’s a quiet week and I’m taking full advantage…getting things done at a slower pace, catching up on small projects, getting ahead of the writing projects and uploading the drafts so all I have to do is hit “send” when the time is right. I’ve also used the down time to research tablets: Kindle, Fire, and ipad. I think I’ve settled on ipad because of the facetime feature.

Oh, I finally finished the survey so I’ll post it:

1. Five ways to win my heart:
   Generous/kind to others
   Love my kids
   Good sense of humor
   Praise my writing
   Keep an open mind

2. Some things I feel strongly about:
   The troubles of the poor
   My faith
   The danger of Tea Party politics

3. A book I love:
   All of them. The Bible for its poetic and spiritual beauty, of course, but I love books of poems, a good whodunnit, autobiographies, history, etc. My most recent good read was “Toxic Charities”.

4. Bullet my day:
   Eat breakfast
   Plan what’s for dinner
   Do a little house cleaning
   Play on the computer
   Spend a few hours of bookwork for the business
   Eat lunch
   Play on the computer
   Work on my non-profit stuff
   Work on business stuff
   Play on the computer
   Write magazine articles
   Make dinner
   Play on the computer
   Watch TV
   Take a shower
   Play on the computer
   Watch TV
   Play on the computer

5. Things I would to say to an ex:
   Why do you want to be friends with me on facebook? You left me for Odette!

6. My view on mainstream music:
   I am a big fan of Adele, Lady GaGa (was a fan before the Superbowl, too), Lorde, Bruno Mars, and the Beiber song with the line “My Mama don’t like you and she likes everyone”. I also like some of Taylor Swift’s stuff, too. For country mainstream I like Lady Antebellum but dislike Kenny Chesney. Can’t think of much else…big fan of 50s & 60s but that’s not mainstream.

7. Five pet peeves:
   People who quote catchy Fox “News” phrases (“POTUS”, “snowflake”, “socialist”, etc.). It doesn’t make you sound smart.

People who think I am obligated to feel comfortable around their obviously uncontrolled pit bull.

My nosey neighbor who tried to cut down my tree.

Tourists who move here and think we care about how they “do it up north”.

“Christians” who condemn others to hell for their perceived sin yet miss their own judgmental attitude (SIN! And, by the way, God doesn’t grade on a bell curve so get over your sanctimonious self).

1. What I ate today:
   Granola
   Sandwich
   Pineapple and cottage cheese
   Whatever I decide on tonight for dinner

2. How important do I think education is:
   It is vital, but should never be all-consuming (see #15)

3. First ten songs on my Spotify:
   I don’t use Spotify

4. My Family:
   My husband
   Eldest son
   Youngest son
   Deceased son
   My younger brother
   Aunt and Uncle
   Crazy Aunt
   Numerous in-laws

5. Five guys I find attractive:
   Humphrey Bogart
   Men who find intelligent women sexy
   Lord, I don’t know…men are men…some have chemistry, some don’t.

6. I am ok with my body except:
   Weight, height, hair

7. What I wore today:
   Jeans and a shirt
   Slacks and a blouse
   Pajamas

8. My Zodiac sign is:
   Libra

9. Something I always think about:
   Family, business, the non-profit

10. Something I am proud of:
    My published articles, my non-profit, and my boys

11. A problem you have had:
    Weight, height, and hair.

12. Ten items you lust after:
    I don’t lust after things. If you get something cool, I am genuinely happy for you. The only thing I wish I had that I don’t, in terms of material things, is my step-mother’s home overlooking Rockport harbor.

13. My fears are:
    War
    Outliving every family member

14. What I hope my future will be:
    Quiet. Peaceful. Creative.

15. My academics:
    College. I’m not overly impressed by academic standing. Some of the stupidest people I know are college educated. Some of the most morally bereft people I know hold Masters degrees. And some of the most obnoxious human beings to walk the face of the earth are PhDs. So, yeah, your level of education means nothing to me, but there ya go.

16. What I miss:
    My deceased son
    My deceased dog
    My flexible body in my younger years

17. Five things that make me cry:
    Thinking about the friends I’ve lost
    Thinking about the family I’ve lost
    Seeing pictures of suffering people
    Sad stories
    Stubbing my toe

18. Some things you are currently worried about:
    See number 20

19. Some things I like about myself:
    I’m generous
    I don’t belittle others
    I’m creative.

20. A quote I try to live by:
    Be true to thine ownself.

21. A place I would like to live:
    New England, but not in winter
    Norway, but not in winter
    A secluded island (guess which season)

22. Five weird things I like:
    The smell of gasoline
    Puns…are puns weird? Maybe not.
    Alligators
    Peanut butter and potato chip sandwiches
    I can’t come up with a fifth. Sorry.

23. One thing I am excited for:
    I dunno…world peace?