Little updates. in Musings

Small updates from different areas of my life. And go:

PARENTHOOD:
There was a point a couple months ago where I was losing my temper with Leah way too often. I looked up techniques and advice on the subject and started applying it to my daily life. I realized what my main triggers were and analyzed what behaviors were important to address and what behaviors I could just let go. I realized yesterday it’s now been quite a while since I lost my cool and I’m proud.

MARRIAGE
Nathan can to the realization the other day that he just doesn’t communicate in the way that I need him to. He’s like that. I can tell him something or ask him to work on an area of our relationship but he has to see it for himself. Now that he has he’s gotten much better at telling me what’s going on in his head or just what his plans are. He’s a more of a spontaneous type than I amwhich I like but it sometimes results in me not knowing what’s happening and who is coming over when. And that’s frustrating for me especially when it comes to managing two little kids schedules. But it’s getting better and I’m thankful.

FRIENDSHIP
I have a total of zero actual friends who live in town. There is a mom who has two kids and her oldest and mine are the same age and LOVE each other. We get together every few weeks but with us caring for the kids it doesn’t result in much time to actually talk. Nathan thinks I should ask her to go out to coffee or dinner or something. But I feel so pushy. I’m already usually the one scheduling play dates (mostly because I’m the more organized of the two of us). I just don’t want it to be awkward without the buffer of our kids. But I also don’t want to miss out on an opportunity to be friends just because I’m scared. It feels like dating all over again and it’s weird.

RELIGION
I have to admit that my faith has been rocked over the last few years. I have been told “The Bible says that’s wrong so it is” And I just don’t know if I can take that at face value anymore. There’s too much context in the time the Bible was written to be able to just say that definitively in my opinion. I no longer think it’s wrong for two constenting adults to be with someone of the same sex. I think if you’re responsible with your drinking (aka you’re not hurting others while drunk) it’s perfectly fine and I drink myself. There’s more but I won’t go into it all. I still believe in God and I still want to go to church but it’s hard believing things that others Christians don’t.

HEALTH
I told myself I was going to start making some lifestyle changes once we were out of the new baby stage with Alex. She’s almost 9 months now and I’m gradually making those changes. I am eating better. I eat lower carb meals now and still allow myself snacks and treats here and there but am just trying to keep the carb count low but not eliminate carbs all together either. Diabetes runs in my family and I want to avoid that if I can at all. I have also just started a “couch to 5k” program for a race in July. The first week was walking and then you gradually add in more and more running with the goal being running the whole 5k. I have been going after the girls are in bed or during the day when Nathan is home on the weekends. It’s so freeing to not have a stroller or a child attached to me. It feels good physically but also emotionally to have that time all to myself.

BUSINESS
My shop is still doing pretty well. I am only able to complete a certain amount of orders per month with both girls home all day every day now. But I’m hoping next year with Leah in preschool that I can be able to do more. I also want to do another craft fair. This time with more research into the clientele. I also still toss around the idea of selling patterns. But we will just have to see where it goes.

MOVING
We still haven’t moved into the house my in laws own. The renters who live there now are taking ages to move into their new house. We actually know them from church and they are really kind soft spoken people. We kind of figure the contractors fixing up their new house have kind of run all over them. My parents had a renovation a couple years ago and my dad had to be really firm with the contractors constantly or else nothing would have got done on time. Supposedly we are going to move sometime in May. We will see. I have a love hate relationship for the place we live. We have outgrown this house for sure. And this side of town is neat in a lot of ways. I love seeing all the non cookie cutter houses and we are only blocks from Main Street and all the cute local businesses here. But the town gives zero cares about the quality of our streets and sidewalks. When it rains the sreeets flood, the sidewalks are impossible to push a stroller on, and I’m 95% our neighbors are drug dealers (a story for another day) The neighborhood where my in laws house is located is much better but is more boring and cookie cutter and not much at all is within walking distance. Pros and cons.

Last updated April 18, 2017