I had a very strange conversation today with my mother. My entire family, on all sides, is extremely religious. My dad's side, my mom's side, and my in-laws. All of them.
I am an atheist.
That does not mean I feel superior to others. I am well aware that I am very likely WRONG, and I am ok with that. The amount of knowledge I have is pretty much nil. I will just say that I've never felt any sort of connection with anything religious. And I do not judge other based upon their religious beliefs.
I told my mother today that I was an atheist.. and I seriously felt like I just divulged a deep dark dirty secret. Why should I feel ashamed that I do not believe in god??
I sat there waiting nervously for her response.. and we were chatting on Facebook, so all I saw was "typing... " and then it would stop, then "typing... " then it would stop.. I was like oh man, she's going to tell me I'm evil. For those of you that do not know.. my mother and I did not speak for many years, and only recently reconciled our differences. I went to go visit her and that side of my family.. it had been 16 years since I had last been near any of them. So.. I was super nervous because what if she said I was evil and she was no longer going to talk to me?
I could lie and say that my feelings wouldn't be bothered by anything like that from her, but I would be lying. I love her, and I desperately want her to understand me and accept me. Much of our separation was due to an extreme misunderstanding of each other and our personalities. I really would prefer this separation not occur again.
So I sat there.. feeling ashamed.. and her response was pretty much perfect. I was SO relieved and happy..
"ok can i ask why you feel that way? and its ok that you believe what you believe... but no i would not share that with them and they really dont need to know your beliefs.....you would still do a wonderful job.... and everyone has a right to believe or not believe ..... and thats great.....you do have a big heart and that in itself is great.....and you really dont have to go to church to be considered a christian or right with god and we will all be judged one day i do believe that but it wont be bad becausev you never went to or attened a church....but one thing is you do feel like a family there and i learned soooo much wqhen i started going again ....but you are fine as a person , & a mother and everywhere else just as you are"
And I felt way better :-D Incidentally.. she was referring to an ethical dilemma I am having. A really good job, that I am qualified for, and would do wonderfully is at a Christian daycare center. Any opinions on that? I am not anti-religious, incidentally, I just don't personally believe.. so if you were a Christian parent, would you be upset that one of your childrens' caretakers was not Christian?
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