So, I was on mobile and quite overwhelmed previously, so here’s the long story:
In the search for my biological family, I came across my biological maternal grandmother’s profile on Facebook, and she’s still alive. She’s 94 and doesn’t actively use Facebook anymore, but there were two adults with my biological father’s last name, so I took a leap of faith in assuming that people with that name who are friends with my biological maternal side may be at least related or friendly to sharing information. So, I wrote both of them on Tuesday. I kept my message very simple and made it clear that I wasn’t expecting anything....but boy oh boy! Yesterday afternoon, both of them messaged me at the same time and told me… they’re my brothers!
On top of them being my fully related brothers, they’ve spent a huge amount of time looking for me, and I have an older sister that also helped. Right now, the unofficial tally is a total of 6 half siblings and 3 full siblings. My biological father was an abusive ass, plain and simple. His first wife, the mother of his first 4 children, died in January of 1972, and he married my bio mom in April of 1972. They were together for about 10 years, with him leaving shortly after I was born, and then married another woman, and we’re not sure if the children she had were with him or not, so I’m not sure about the youngest 2.
This is where things get really emotional for both of my families. My adoptive parents were told that I was taken away in the hospital because bio mom dragged me across the bed by my hair. Though they were not there, my brother said that she never laid a finger on me or any of her children, and thought that I was only in foster care temporarily due to something my bio dad said or did. Both my brothers remember walking from their home to some sort of office and visiting me for months, playing with me and bottle feeding me, and then one day they were told they were no longer allowed to see me. Between my bio dad abusing my bio mom for a decade then leaving them and taking everything, including the car, and being told she’d never see me again, bio mom had a hell of a mental breakdown. So, basically the time in my adoptive parents lives that was one of their admittedly happiest days ever, my biological family was completely crushed and broken.
I talked on the phone for 2 hours with one of my brothers last night. The oldest was a bit standoffish on FB messenger, but my 2nd older brother fully opened up and told me that oldest brother was probably guarded because he didn’t know how bio mom would take the news. She’s currently in the hospital with the really bad flu that’s been going through the area and they showed her my FB picture and told her I reach out and said her face lit up. I was warned that she never fully recovered mentally from bio dad’s abuse, but my brother thinks everyone will want to meet me.
After spending that long on the phone with my brother, I called my adoptive mom and told her everything I was told. We’re getting together tonight and I’m going to show her the profiles of my brothers and sister… and boy can you tell we’re related!
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