Olivia in Dear Bee

Dearest Bianca
Truth be told I’m not sure what I should write about today. So let’s start with my day. My morning was okay. My cup prevented my bed from turning into a Japanese flag, so you know, win. Then my cramps started and cramps aren’t great but they did go away.
I spent the day just letting myself rest and performing a shit ton of procrastination. Then my little cousin was born. Little baby Olivia. She’s cute. I really never think babies are nice looking. They’re usually too wrinkly for me to see any resemblance to a human. And I would always internally laugh at everyone cooing and oohing and aahing over the little potato.
But I get it now.
She’s at day 1 of her life. Well. Her life outside of the womb. Wouldn’t it be cool if she becomes something epic one day when she’s grown up? Maybe she’ll save humanity from an apocalypse. Maybe she’ll be the first woman on Mars. Maybe she’ll be the world’s best chef. And maybe she’ll just be Olivia. And being just Olivia will be excellent.
I’m not about to put pressure on her existence. It’s just kind of magical to see how clean her slate is. There are no fights, no bullying, no failures. There are no first kisses, dances, first storms or Christmases.
Maybe that’s why everyone likes a baby. Because that day 1 is a reminder of like all the infinite possibilities that a life has.
I feel like theres a part of me that’s much like a baby, I’m starting over and having a clean slate. But whats even better is that I don’t have regrets from where my life has been.
Sure there have been fuck ups, and bad days, but those days made me just as much as the blessings I’ve been surrounded with in the form of friendship, family, education.
And there are things that used to be regrets, failures I couldn’t quite let go, mistakes that I made. But I realised that they were lessons. They made me who I am.
But you already know all this.
You’ve lived them just as much as I have.
Here’s hoping that wherever Little Olivia’s life takes her, that her first memory be vivid, that her first friend be memorable, that the first summer rain she’s old enough to consciously notice be the one she dances in. And let there be storms, and let there be rainbows. Let there be cute pets and discoveries of self and the world. Let her first kiss be with such that when she’s old and grey she can smile and sigh and remember how those lips felt.
I hope she dances in puddles, and makes friends in the strangest of places. I hope she finds something to be passionate about. And I hope her life will be filled with volcano moments. She’ll be loved. That’s a given. I hope she gets to love someone as much as we already love her.
I hope that one day she will be aware of the miracle her life is, and she will live it as such. I started a little too late. But I started when I could.
That’s all I have for today.
Happy Birthday Olivia Ras.
Yours always,
Justyna